What NOT to do with your teeth. . . .

As the son of an orthodontist, I grew up with expectations about using my teeth to chew healthy, non-sugary food. I remember my Pa brushing my teeth if I did not do an acceptable job upon his inspection. My teeth are actually stripped yellow because I ate the fluoride pills like candy. Thanks to my Pa you wouldn't be able to tell that or the fact that I had braces on and off for over six years, since we never had regular appointments.
The following may or may not have been experienced by the author, I take the 5th, it can be neither confirmed or denied(I hope my Pa never comes across this):
1.zip up pants zipper(yours or anyone elses)-this is a general observation that applies to the rest of the list.
2.bite/trim toenails
3.open Top Raumen spice packet
4.tear off a piece of TP
5.get a snarl out of hair
6.text/type or dial
7.hold/pull electrical cord
8. flip pages of a book
9. hold diapers wipes (used or not)
10. flip on/off light switches
Happy, just chewing.

God's Love

In Ragtime there is a song, "I thought I knew what love was, but these lovers play new music." I echo that sentiment, I thought I knew what love was, then I went on a mission,got married, became a parent, and almost died.I know the scripture "God is Love"(1john 4:7)'In The God Who Weeps'the authors write, "if vulnerability and pain are the price of love, joy is its reward"This comforts me and gives me joy as I go through this "veil of tears." I believe that we are that we might have joy and the price has been paid by my Heavenly Father's perfect Son, my Savior Jesus Christ.

Thoughts: the good, the bad, the ugly

The good: go to your 'happy place' anytime find peace in a world that is in chaos.
The bad:I do not filter thing easily any more and once I am in a funk, it is harder for me to get myself out of. I was also told by my speech therapist, that I would one day remember what my mind has buried about the accident, my own PTSD to look forward to.
The ugly:I am often my own worst enemy, kicking myself over and over for my mistakes and imperfections, and if I do that to myself and do not check myself on it, out of habit it carries over to those around me.
The best advice that I have recieved about unwanted thoughts was by my mission president Call, "Don't let them camp out."

inheritance

"Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids"-unknown, from Emily Burr,my sister in-law's blog
I was sitting with my Pa and grandpa Baugh talking about reading, 'The God Who Weeps' and how much that we enjoyed it and laughed at how similar we are. I am glad that I inherited their since of humor along with their love of learning and gift of gab.I would tell parents at the KUED Ready to Learn workshops that I did for work, that My mom would make us do three things when we got home from school: wash our hands, get a healthy snack and then do our homework.She would also have all of us take turns reading out loud to her. Education was always the most important emphasis for her, spiritual as well as temporal things, always looking forward to BYU education week, listening to scriptures, both ancient and modern while working out and doing household chores, and working in the temple.She is also the master planner, if you want to know what is the plan for Christmas next year, or when her granddaughter in New Mexico starts school, check her wall calendar in the kitchen
My in laws are commendable for their sought after qualities as well, Lexy's mom, Nanna loves to serve others, working with adults with disabilities and read. Her father,Papa, Shafe loves to clean things, Loves sports and express his love to his family through service and by telling them.
It makes me wonder what my own kids will be excited to see as their inheritance from their fabulous mother and DORK of a father.

My Abby's life is a musical

I wonder where she gets her theatrical genes from?
Lex tells me all the time about how she goes throught the day with songs stuck in her head,doing a show at Hale or not. Here is my recent playlist in my mind:'There in the darkness' from Jekyll & Hyde,Beast's solo in Beauty and the Beast,'Unlimited'and 'changed for the better' from wicked, 'One Day More,' 'Stars,' and 'God on High' from Les Miserables, and 'Our children,' The Wheels of a Dream,' All He Said Was,'and 'What of the people,' from Ragtime, David Walked into the Valley from Scarlet Pimpernel, and last but not least Dr. Neal Baugh, High Adventure from Aladin-I am not sure I will ever get that one out.

Turning the frown up side down/The Best Abb Workout that I Know of

Lex in her organized chaos moved the computer downstairs to our computer center armour, she now has a kitchen counter back and I can be down here and be with the kids, Brilliancy strikes again!So my Colester runs down the stairs in front of me, turns around when he reaches the bottom, looks up at me with a how can I help you?-I Know of a smile and yells at me, Jump daddy!Jump!So, I get a ton of therapy in going up and downstairs regulating where all the kids are.
Pre-bowel obstruction surgery, touchdown like celebration noises coming from our bathroom on a successful poop and Lex telling me that I may want to work on that, going back to work and being in a stall in the restroom making those sounds, other men may wonder what I am doing in there.

Having to bring Coleman into the bathroom with me because I am afraid of what he will do without my supervision.For example, lex watched him when she put one of his toys on time out because Max and him where fighting over it, He moved a chair to the bookshelf, ran upstairs and brought his stool down to put on the chair, still could not reach, so went downstairs to get a toy lightsaber, and knocked down the toy down with it.This kid has great problem solving skills that will serve him well as long as he survives long enough to be an adult.
Laughing at a episode of Dinosaur Train titled 'everyone poops.' I love PBS.

Having a high school friend drop by and leave flowers for Lex, just to say "thanks for being a good friend."Thank you Kirin. You are a great friend too.

Comparing Maxwell to Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. It makes his emotional tantrums bearable and miss him now that he is in kindergarten for half of the day.

My speech therapist up at the hospital was Darrin. I gave him the nickname of 'saxaphone assassin' because of a story that he told me that when he was in middle school he played the saxaphone and they played at the white house, they would not let him take his saxaphone case in because it had not been searched.

My kids applauding me when I take steps around the house without my hiking stick or cane
Matt playing Therapist and backing up, like our swim teachers did while we swam to them,when Abby told me to walk to him without my hiking pole. he laughed and reminded me, "Everyone is a therapist."

Lex getting home and telling me that she thought of me and bought new dishwasher tablets that are not individually wrapped- no more opening them with my teeth, and when a guest presenter at her school training spoke on 'greatness' and purposed that they read more than one book at a time on different subjects.

I have the bad habit of staying in my wheelchair while reaching for things in the kitchen cabinets, yesterday, I did this and set off the 'pam' spray that had lost its cap and was cinched between the top shelf.Abby came running over when I started laughing and screaming at the 'pam' spraying at me.

My kids calling for Uncle Mike over me or Lex at his pool.Coleman swimming at the pool, he wants to grow up so fast.
Remembering that last year when Lex went back to work, how I would have to leave a trail of marshmallows to get Coleman to come to me to get his diaper changed. Now he will use the potty when promised a treat.
Abby going with Maxwell to back to school night and sharing with him all the things that he needs to know and worry about; fire drills, lockdowns, and earthquake drills. Thanks my Abby princess, Max wasn't worried until now. I am glad that Max has a older sister to look out for him. Love you both.
Max was to do some kindergarten testing, so Lex arranged to take him. She called me to make sue that he was ready to go, that she was running late and would just pull up and honk. I waited anxiously with him ready to go by the front door. I told him the plan and he asked me if he could wait out on the front porch, I agreed and watched him lie down while waiting, then go to the lawn, pull down his pants and pee on our front lawn. I was furious and laughing hysterically.How did he think that this was alright to do? Without laughing in his presence, I yell at him to come inside and use the bathroom inside, to which he replied that he didn't have to go anymore.I did make him come in and wash his hands, while attempting to explain to him that we are not dogs and do not go potty outside even when we pretend to be an animal.
Having my grandparents jump up and offer me their seat at the table and serve me dinner.

Asking Coleman to bring me some toilet paper and him bring me a few sheets, it was better than nothing.

Coleman telling my twin bro, that,"I not a bro, I Cole!"
Role reversing with Lex coming home from work and me waiting by the door excited to talk to a grown up, asking her 50 questions before she can get through the door. Her telling me that she just got home and would like not to think about work until after her headache is gone.

Her coming home a few days latter, skipping and crying for joy to show me the copy of her student's published, and signed, children's book.

Rocket Science

My twin brother told me that he had the desire to become a rocket scientist just because of the phrase we often throw at people, 'it's not like rocket science." I hear you Matt. I feel the same way, Who knew that relearning how to walk would be one of the most challenging things for me? I joked with my PTs that learning to walk is not 'like learning to ride a bike.'It is not something that I have been able to just pick up naturally. Jan Black the lead PT at Neuroworx was quick to respond to my comment that, "There are other variables now to my relearning."I laughed and said, "yes, like trying to ride a bike with triangle wheels not round ones," but atleast I have a bike to work with.

weakness

yes, The scriptures in 'The Book of Mormon' Ether 12:27 comes to mind right away, as well as Mosiah 4:27. In 'The God who Weeps,'the authors make the point, "We are drawn to the suffering Christ, not the victorious Christ.. . . .God wins power by His weakness." I do not know where to begin on how profound this truth is to me in my personal weakness.Hope is real, it is found in truth and living as best I can to align myself with it and only relying on my Savior Jesus Christ to make me strong through obediece to His gospel. I love Him

Survivor: stay at home parent addition

This is where the real 'Survivors are found. I joked with Matt about how I need a Coke a day to keep me running and to help me keep up with my kids. It's no joke.
There is a steep learning-curve to being at home, since it is 'adapt or die mode.' Here's to more adapting and hopefully zero-casualties, that is the measure of my success.Unfortunately, this leads to full time supervision for my Colester, so my 10am deadline for daily posts takes a hit, but other than that day one, with Abby and Lex back at school is a success. To be continued. . . . My money is on Coleman

'Be Still My Soul'

Is my favorite Hymn. I could not help sing along with my cousin Sharon and her husband Fernando Seminario sang it at Miranda's, their oldest's baptism.
"Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897(LDS Hymn Book #124)
I know that Joy will reign because of the promises of my Savior Jesus Christ and His gospel.
I have had reason to draw strength from this hymn and am grateful that like in the parable of the Prodigal son, my hardships in life-that are not my Heavenly Father's doing, but the consequences of life, have helped me to 'come to myself' and realize what is important in life; My family and faith.

Novelty V.S. Stagnation

"Once they knew that some changes were for the better, and others for the worse, and others again indifferent".We read from Screwtape in his letters to Wormwood. He continues, "We have largely removed this knowledge." Remember that this is a devil speaking/training another devil,"For the descriptive 'unchanged' we have substituted the emotional adjective 'stagnant.'" The point here being, "We have retained them to think of the Future as a promised land which favored heroes attain-not as something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." I fall into this trap of thinking, ""one day..." I think that it has a compound reason to it of my fear and procrastination, Much like the dreaded side effect of urinary urgency and retention, this combination is not conducive to Making the most out of life.
My challenge with my TBI is I deal with change differently, I have a shorter fuse and am more prone to turn to anger, than seeking out an escape valve to blow off steam. on the other side, I attempt to relish the mundane moments from waking up and breathing deeply to giggling with my kids at their crazy, dork of a dad.

It's about time"

Comes from the LDS ad campaign.
When I was in 6th grade, My teacher found a poem in our reading time slot of the day and marked it on the board as "Curtis' poem" it was all about time. In our 6th grade 'getting to know you' survey I filled out that I was most afraid of 'time.' I remember being a sophomore in high school and my Pa driving me to some school function, I was confiding in him my concerns about the fears I had about the future(which I am not able to recall what they were at the time). He lovingly told me to enjoy the time that I had to grow up.
One of my Pa's "Dadisms" is,"This too, shall pass." I talked to my bishop a few months ago about how I was doing as full time Mr. Mom and how much work it is. I am excited to have this time with my family. I love them and know this is what I chose to come back to life for.
"To everything there is a season"(Psalms)school, work,play,study,rest, crying, laughing, planting,growing, harvesting.
Thanks to a Loving Father in Heaven we are here to experience a time to be tested and proved. No matter our circumstances, we all have been given the same amount of hours in a day to do with what we see fit. I know that I will be held accountable for the time that I have been given. My twin bro, Matt said that one of his neighbors made the comment in Sunday School that she did not like the excuse of,"I don't have time." In response to a opportunity to serve. She went on to say that she has time to watch a favorite TV show and what she responds is,"We have to make it a priority and make time." I agree, in a time that we have so many distractions, I have to prioritize what I use my energy doing or not doing.

Return with honor mission memoirs#2

With that backdrop I went to what I thought looked like the moon, Antofagasta, Chile.I met President and sister Wagnar. My first companion or trainer in the field was Ryan Jesperson, also from Orem, Ut. We had a running mission and Elder Jesperson taught me how to work.I was so homesick that at night I would dream of being on family vacations.It was such a blessing.We were in Calama, a mining town next to the biggest open-pit mine in the world, chuquicamata. I remember trying to memorize the mission discussions while walking and attempting to communicate with the locals.Ryan Jesperson was a district leader and during one of his lessons on the third discussion, he wanted to stress the importance of teaching by the Spirit and asked me to teach a principle to the other missionaries. I was terrified because of my lack of studying this discussion, I was only working on memorizing the first.After I struggled through, Ryan smiled and said in Spanish, "You see Elder Baugh doesn't know how to say everything perfectly, but you feel the spirit when he tries."I smiled and reminded myself that he was complimenting me.I will never forget this experience or him cutting my hair, kneeling in prayer with him outside of an appartment complex, in the dark both physically and what felt like spiritually and emotionally and the feeling of hope and joy that came to both of us to continue to work, the branch president Hermano Cofray and his faith, and last but not least meeting teaching and feeling the conversion of Luz.He is still in contact with me and takes care of me as his missionary "son,"since he was responsible for training me as a missionary. He was the best trainer that I could have hoped for, and is a great friend.
My second companion was Bill Rounds who was from the "factory" of Utah as well.I was his companion over my first Christmas away from home, which meant my first phone call to my family. Bill was very understanding of me braking down and crying while on my phone call with them. He had confidence in me and had me teach anyone and everyone.
My second area was in the most well to do area in my mission and where my mission president lived.With Elder Steel, who helped me learn to laugh at myself while working hard.In our ward, after bearing my testimony, President Wagnar came up to me to compliment me saying, Elder Baugh, it is great that you just speak what you feel and do not worry about using the right congugations."I felt deflated, was it not obvious that I did care and was trying everything I knew to communicate correctly?!

" For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also(3Nephi 13:21)"

In our challenge to become.This scripture spells it out for us.What do we desire the most? What is our treasure? Does my life reflect this? What do I spend my time doing? Where are my thoughts? It also is written,"you reap what you sow," (Galatians 6:7)and in a Thing of Wonder, "Keep one eye on the law of the echo."or karma. 'a rose by any other name. . . ' I am told that I am very introspective, but that does not mean that I am good at it. I am good at stream of consciousness- connecting one thought to another. that does not mean that you are able to follow my TBI thought connections.
Matt, my twin brother is one of the hardest workers that I know. He desires the best for his family and knows that work will get him the best. We have great friends. like Brett Borg and Ryan Morris, who are not afraid to work hard and long hours to provide for their family either.Thank you all for your example.You are looked up to more than I am able to express here.
Lex loves to teach and to be on stage, I tell people that she is my connection to culture. Love you Babe.
In a world concerned and set on the superficial, to be grounded in the "Longitudinal perspective" that comes from the Gospel of Jesus Christ is strengthening and a reward in its self, by the treasured peace that it gives me by living it.

"Life is to short to be small"

Is a concept out of the book, 'A Thing of Wonder' Have you got yourself a copy of this one yet? I am still reading it through for the first time because I like to digest on the concept being taught for a day before getting to the next one, something about only walking as fast as we have strength to?(Mosiah 4:27)to live a happy,full, and fulfilling life I have to let the little stuff go more often than I do. My plate is full as it is. I had a therapist tell me that I needed to pick a point in the distant future and look to that and do what I need to do to get there instead of worrying about every slight difference in terrain.
My sister in law Heather told me that I should be on a Mormon ad about forgiveness.I just do not understand why I would try to ruin a 17 year old girl's life over an accident? My dream job would be to do assemblies in high schools around the state with her and talk about driving and cell phone use. I keep saying that if anything good can come from this, let's make it happen, it is part of me dreaming big

Abby's Prayers

Are so sincere and faith driven about her real life 7 year old concerns: being nice to everyone, not having a nightmare, or that our house will get stuck by lightning and start on fire, that we will know what is right and do it, that her dad will continue to get better, walk and stand on his own, and one day be able to swing her through the sprinklers again. I love them and love the little angel saying the prayer more. They make me smile to think of how my prayers must sound to my Heavenly Father and how much that He loves to hear and smile at all of our prayers. I know that He loves us and that He is our Heavenly Father, a real Person.
C.S. Lewis writes on prayer in 'The Screwtape Letters,' which again is one Devil helping to train another, "But whatever the nature of the composite object, you must keep him(the human that they are tempting) praying to it. -to the thing he has made, not to the Person who has made him.""

"Logitudinal Perspective"

is a Neal A. Maxwellism.The favorite chapter in A Thing of Wonder, for my grandparents is on the idea that the saddest phrase in the English language is “If only . . . ” because it makes us focus on the past. If instead we are able to say, “Next time . . . ,” we can use our experiences as learning building blocks to success instead of potholes of yesterdays and discouragement. I am preaching more to myself than to anyone else, “Next time. . . ’You have to start somewhere/some time, Why not here and now? I have tried to live reminding myself that the mindset of, “Life shouldn't be this way” is not productive. To counteract this pothole, I think about some counsel that Lex told me that her bishop, bishop White told her, “That there are no surprises for God. He knows everything.” It is up to us to choose what we will do with Life’s challenges, expected ones and all others. Our Heavenly Father is able to consecrate our efforts and make them beneficial for us, if we have the “longitudinal perspective” to see them as He does. Hindesight is usually 20/20, but in the moment, it is another perspective.

progress

Discouragement has been and continues to be a stumbling block for me. I surround myself with positive ideas and crave powerful inspirational successes, am constantly reminding myself of Neuroworx’s founder Dale Hull’s saying about progress: “that it is glacially slow, others will see the big chunks break off.” Meanwhile I feel every millimeter of scraping friction that is the price to pay
I also encourage outlets to let my guard down and laugh at myself and life. Friday at therapy I walked a mile in the Locomat and then did a few laps inside without my hiking pole to try and get carryover. My Pa was there to be Dr. Baugh and encourage me, telling me that, “if you fall, It will be slow because I have you by this gait belt.” Thanks my Pa.
On Saturday, I had a day off from using my wheelchair and gave the yellow beauty a much needed rest. Yesterday, Lex told me how proud and excited she was for me, saying, There is no way you would have or could have done that three years ago.Yor therapists and doctors at the hospital said that your brain has to prioritize and not only worry about healing, but has to work harder just to do the basics. Now let's continue, get down on the floor with Coleman and remember to do as much as you can at home so when you are at therapy you use it to all the potential that you are able to, so here we go, rejoicing at every Victories of a CHAMPION along the way, as small or minute as they may seem, celebrations of any kind in my life are much appreciated and a main arch nemesis to discouragement. Tonight I am excited to have the wedding shower of my Lacer to look forward to, speaking of progress, Jake she is a major find and way out of your league, and anyone's for that matter- don't ever forget it.Don't worry, I married up too, way out of my league and it was the best choice I ever made. We are excited for you to be joining our crazy family.Love you both

Chaos,

mine is named Coleman. Lexy's fam applaud that we finally have a 'normal' child.I am afraid to go to the bathroom because I do not know what he will get into or do while he is not being supervised, so I have started bringing him into the bathroom with me-another brilliancy moment from Lex, we are potty training afterall. So here is an example of this kids determination: we have found that timeout for his toys is as effective, if not more than putting him on timeout. Lex put one of his toys on the top of a bookshelf on our main floor family room and then watched him pull a chair from our kitchen to it, stand on it and find that he could not reach, then he went upstairs and got a stool that is in the kids bathroom upstairs so that they can wash their hands. He sets the stool on top of the chair and climbs up to the top to find the toy is still out of reach, not to be phased, he then goes downstairs and gets his toy lightsaber, with it in hand, Luke Skywalker would have been proud of this young padawon, he climbs back on top of the stool that is staked on the chair and triumphantly knocks the toy from the bookself.These problemsolving abilities will serve you well young one if you are able to survive to adulthood.

Choice

It is what the war in heaven was fought over.Lex came home from one of her training days at Paradigm High school and told me about a comment that Dave,another mentor made about how "there are really only two powers in the world: force and obedience, not forced obedience, but obedience out of love." She said, It made sense and made me think about how we are the only creation of our Heavenly Fathers that are still figuring out that it is in our best interest to choose to align our will to His. You are one smart cookie Babe and work with some fine thinkers too.
I have two choices as we all do, "Get busy living or to get busy dieing."(Shawshank Redemption)Thank you Patrick Funk for helping me with the source of the quote. I choose last night to walk down the hall way upstairs without my cane, which meant that this morning I had to walk from my bedroom to the stairs without it. I was on a roll, so have been given my rolling wheelchair a break today. In A Thing of Wonder the author defines tragedy; "As not some sorrow that happens to us but what we miss."I am learning that the only thing holding me back is myself. I do not want fear to dictate the direction of my life. "We walk by faith not by sight"(Corinthians 5:7)It has been said, "Life is what you make of it." One of my PTs commented that I must get around pretty good at home. I hung my head down and said that I still used my wheelchair here because I was afraid to fall. You will be sick and tired until you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, that is when you do something. I am at that breaking point now in my life with Lex starting back at work and Abby and Max back in school at the end of this month. It will be me and my buddy Colester here.

DW

Lex told me the other day that I was a bit of a writing diva because I like to tinker with my posts up to the moment of publishing, but I also like to post everyday and am toying with the idea of syncing a automatic publishing time on my posts everyday. In my anguish over this dilemma ,Lex laughed at me and made the diva comment. I replied that I could be WD for short, but she replied that was too much of a mouthful. My come back is to be called DW, because I am backwards anyways.

Survival Mode

You know when all you can do to stay alive is those things that are absolutely necessary? When you are not sure about the weather tomorrow, or the retirement plan because you are concerned about taking your next breath. Welcome to survival mode, Lex bought a wall decoration with the phrase 'God and germs are everywhere so say your prayers and wash your hands.' Check, check, and then breath,
Jenn, my twin brother's wife made a wall decoration that says 'tell someone you love them because life is short, yell it to them in German because life is also terrifying. too true on both accounts.It has been nice, to say the least to have a summer with Lex home and being out of this extreme mode of survive, now with school starting again soon, it is back to this mode, but with only the Colster here with me all day. My money is on him surviving.
Which also means that I need to appologize that writing daily on here has fallen down the priority list. I love this, just not at the expense of missing out on my greatest calling in life and the reason that I am still around; to be a husband and father.

The right ?s

Matt Allred, A friend of mine in our neighborhood made the comment more than once in different lessons at church that he, “Likes to think about purpose, when it comes to Gospel questions” In C. S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters Screwtape, the more experienced devil writes to his nephew and inexperienced devil Wormwood, “Of a proposed course of action He(God) wants men, so far as I can see, to ask very simple questions; is it righteous? Is it prudent? Is it possible? ” he goes on to advise wormwood, “Now if we can keep men asking ‘Is it in accordance with general movement of our time? Is it progressive or reactionary? Is this the way History is going?’ they will neglect the relevant questions. ”
How often I find myself overcomplicating things, including the questions about life, when in reality things are simple.

Rough draft Life

Lex will accept back but not enter in a grade if her students have not made the corrections that she makes on their first, rough draft. She is a tough, real life grader.Her previous semester students come back and tell her how scared they were of her at first because of her reputation. She loves it and tells them that she likes it that way, so that she gets only those who really want to work in her classes.
My family is going through the last daughters on either side of the family getting married in September. I am excited for both of the and love them as the last spoiled, but not rotten queen bees that they are as their place in the fam. I keep reminding my sister Lacey that love is work; fun, exciting, and well worth it work, it is a verb and has to be done if you want to keep it that way.
We are not perfect people, at our last stake conference the Area Authority said in the Saturday, adult session, "that he never has talked to a woman that did not have grounds to divorce her husband." Everyone laughed and we were not prepared for him to finish with, "I have never met a man that did not have grounds to divorce his wife, marriage is work."
I am glad that even with all my mistakes and rough draft life,My wife and I are still working together. I love you my Lex.

not enough smirking/giggles

I wore my tie backwards at church today.Matt noticed and said,'you have a different tie today, it is on backwards?'Lex noticed when I got home and laugh when I told her about Matt.She asked me why he did not help me fix it. I laughed and told her that I was setting a new trend. She laughed and replied, yeah, you are cool enough to do it, now you better write about it on a blog post.
My Colester running through the sprinkles with his eyes closed and screaming with delight/cold water shock.
My Bishop and friend Nathan Hanson passing me on a walk around the block and saying,"Curtis I have been thinking about you all day , Melanie(his wife)has been with their oldest our day, (which left him at home with the other two) I am not tough enough to do this at home thing!"
Getting mail back with "Return to Sender" on it because my handwriting is so bad. Sorry my Amers, your note will be delayed some.
My Lacer calling to check on me and making my day by staying on the phone while she is trying to work an "Out of Order" car wash.Just know that it is the change machine and not you that is Out of Order, My CHAMPION of a sister!

Lex is now the family chauffeur among the other titles under her superhero name "Brilliancy," On one of her drops, swimming lessons three times a week for Max and Abby, she started grumbling about the "apparently not awake and with it drivers." Max smiled and said, "Mom, what is it? The zombie drivers?"

"Vader. . .

you must confront Vader, only then a JEDI will you be." (YODA, Return of the JEDI)Have I mentioned how distracted I am now post accident? This movie is on while I am typing this and thought that this was a better title and start on my adversity post. I am giggling(Manly giggles, of course) to myself at the dorkiness of this connection to me facing my refiners fire in life to Luke Skywalker having to face Darth Vader to become a JEDI. A friend of mine, Randy Booth laughed when I talked with him about my kids telling me that YODA and Obione's spirits help Luke, He said that he had many conversations with mission companions about the similarities in the Gospel and in STAR WARS.
I was asked two weeks ago by Sister Roach, the Gospel Doctrine Sunday School teacher in my ward to share my thoughts about adversity. I planned on taking and reading Elder James E. Faust's talk, bu when going over it with Lex, she stopped me and reminded me that sister Roach was asking me to share my experience not give a lesson.So, It is interesting to me how people see me in a wheelchair and think that this is my greatest trial or adversity that I have faced and this is hard,I do not have a broken arm and a broken leg on my left side. I have a TBI, the pathways are not there or have to be reconnected in order for my body to work. there are daily things that I have to do for this to happen. This has given me the blueprint that i need to overcome my spiritual, and greatest adversity. The daily things that I do or do not do build me into what I may only become thanks to my Heavenly Father's plan and my Savior's atonement.

Comparison

At the last Doctor's appointment that I had I mentioned to Dr. Speed that I really only had problems when I compared my life now to how it was before the accident. He was kind, yet direct in his response that it was not a fair comparison and will not help me to continue to do it. I know that the root of pride is this comparison that we usually use against yourself and others. It never occurred to me that we could use it Just comparing myself in different times in my life, but I am also finding that it will be as equally as damaging,unproductive, and damning; limiting my progress now.
It is something that I like to call the fungshway of satan. He will use your momentum, no matter the direction and use it against you. It has a very eastern feel to it, but does not make it any less of a problem for me as a westerner.
It can also go the other way of comparing my progress; I would have never imagined being where I am today and all the victories of a CHAMPION I have had, as well as the ones to come. In your FACE satan, how do you like them apples?! Pow!

Making the most out of life

If life gave me lemons I would make my Grandma Baugh's lemon pie, I would have to first learn her secrets.I am not in control of what has happened with the accident and my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury).I am however responsible for my reaction to the situation.I could wallow in selfpitty, or could be angered to the point of insanity, or fight for everything that I might be able to get back and share my journey with those who will listen.I continue to find great healing, physically, spiritually as well as emotionally and mentally in the latter.In 'A Touch of Woder'it is written, "If the facts won't budge, bend your attitudes to fit it, that's all."
So, with Flinn Lockwood in 'Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs,' I say, "Come on Steve we have a diem to carpe!"

Rebirthday #3

My twin brother Matthew wrote me a letter when I had been home from the hospital for a few months, in it he quoted this talk by Elder Faust. I found the whole talk and wanted to share it here.
Elder James E. Faust in the April 1979 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said:
"I wish to speak this morning to all, but especially to those who feel they have had more trials, sorrows, pricks, and thorns than they can bear and in their adversity are almost drowned in the waters of bitterness. My message is intended as one of hope, strength, and deliverance. I speak of the refiner’s fire."drowning is how I have felt a few times during this process of refinement, but I have also felt hope and deliverance in these pat three years.He continues,
"Some years ago president David O. McKay told from this pulpit of the experience of some of those in the Martin handcart company. Many of these early converts had emigrated from Europe and were too poor to buy oxen or horses and a wagon. They were forced by their poverty to pull handcarts containing all of their belongings across the plains by their own brute strength. President McKay relates an occurrence which took place some years after the heroic exodus: “A teacher, conducting a class, said it was unwise ever to attempt, even to permit them [the Martin handcart company] to come across the plains under such conditions.
[According to a class member,] some sharp criticism of the Church and its leaders was being indulged in for permitting any company of converts to venture across the plains with no more supplies or protection than a handcart caravan afforded.
“An old man in the corner … sat silent and listened as long as he could stand it, then he arose and said things that no person who heard him will ever forget. His face was white with emotion, yet he spoke calmly, deliberately, but with great earnestness and sincerity.
“In substance [he] said, ‘I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here, for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that company and my wife was in it and Sister Nellie Unthank whom you have cited was there, too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Not one of that company ever apostatized or left the Church, because everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities."I feel similarly when I am asked how I feel about 16 year olds driving or people using cell phones when they drive. It happens, so. let's deal with the reality that we live with.I would not change the past, except for my own mistakes. I am coming to know my Father in Heaven on a personal level that was unknown to me in my times of ease.He continues,
“‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it.’” He continues: “‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there." My angles are seen; my friends and family members who confidently cheer me on, every small, and faltering step of the way.
“‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.’” (Relief Society Magazine, Jan. 1948, p. 8.)" And so it is my privilege to live with my refiners' fire.
Here then is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd." Whisperings that have always been with me, but I had ears that would not hear.How grateful I am that He will not give up on any of us if we are willing to listen.
"Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process."I hope to be in the latter category of people.
"In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit. We no longer ride with the flow of the crowd, but instead we enjoy the promise of Isaiah to be renewed in our strength and “mount up with wings as eagles” (Isa. 40:31)." The song from the musical WICKED, Defying Gravity comes to mind, being blessed to be married to Lexand all.
The proving of one’s faith goes before the witnessing, for Moroni testified, “Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” (Ether 12:6). This trial of faith can become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:7). Trials and adversity can be preparatory to becoming born anew.
A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures. From the book of Mosiah we learn that all mankind must be born again—born of God, changed, redeemed, and uplifted—to become the sons and daughters of God. (See Mosiah 27:24–27.)
President Marion G. Romney, speaking for the Lord, has said of this marvelous power: “The effect upon each person’s life is likewise similar. No person whose soul is illuminated by the burning Spirit of God can in this world of sin and dense darkness remain passive. He is driven by an irresistible urge to fit himself to be an active agent of God in furthering righteousness and in freeing the lives and minds of men from the bondage of sin.” (In Conference Report, 4 Oct. 1941, p. 89.)
The feelings of being reborn were expressed by Parley P. Pratt as follows:
“If I had been set to turn the world over, to dig down a mountain, to go to the ends of the earth, or traverse the deserts of Arabia, it would have been easier than to have undertaken to rest, while the Priesthood was upon me. I have received the holy anointing, and I can never rest till the last enemy is conquered, death destroyed, and truth reigns triumphant.” (Journal of Discourses, 1:15.)
Unfortunately, some of our greatest tribulations are the result of our own foolishness and weakness and occur because of our own carelessness or transgression. Central to solving these problems is the great need to get back on the right track and, if necessary, engage in each of the steps for full and complete repentance. Through this great principle, many things can be made fully right and all things better. We can go to others for help. To whom can we go? Elder Orson F. Whitney asked and answered this question: “To whom do we look, in days of grief and disaster, for help and consolation? … They are men and women who have suffered, and out of their experience in suffering they bring forth the riches of their sympathy and condolences as a blessing to those now in need. Could they do this had they not suffered themselves?
“… Is not this God’s purpose in causing his children to suffer? He wants them to become more like himself. God has suffered far more than man ever did or ever will, and is therefore the great source of sympathy and consolation.” (Improvement Era, Nov. 1918, p. 7.) May we all continue in the refinement process, giving hope to one another that we are not alone, but in good, the best, company of those who strive to be disciples of our Savior Jesus Christ.
"Isaiah, before the Savior’s birth, referred to him as “a man of sorrows” (Isa. 53:3). Speaking in the Doctrine and Covenants of himself, the Savior said:
“Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink” (D&C 19:18).
Some are prone to feel that their afflictions are punishment. Roy Doxey states:
“The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that it is a false idea to believe that the saints will escape all the judgments—disease, pestilence, war, etc.—of the last days; consequently, it is an unhallowed principle to say that these adversities are due to transgression. …" My cousin Tiffany Chidester's son felt this way when he found out that he had cancer and had to do chemo and a leg amputated. I have also felt this way and find great peace and comfort here.
“"President Joseph F. Smith taught that it is a feeble thought to believe that the illness and affliction that come to us are attributable either to the mercy or the displeasure of God.” (The Doctrine and Covenants Speaks,Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1970, vol. 2, p. 373.)
Paul understood this perfectly. When referring to the Savior, he said:
“Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;
“And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him.” (Heb. 5:8–9).
For some, the suffering is extraordinary.
Stillman Pond was a member of the Second Quorum of Seventy in Nauvoo. He was an early convert to the Church, having come from Hubbardston, Massachusetts. Like others, he and his wife, Maria, and their children were harassed and driven out of Nauvoo. In September 1846, they became part of the great western migration. The early winter that year brought extreme hardships, including malaria, cholera, and consumption. The family was visited by all three of these diseases.
Maria contracted consumption, and all of the children were stricken with malaria. Three of the children died while moving through the early snows. Stillman buried them on the plains. Maria’s condition worsened because of the grief, pain, and the fever of malaria. She could no longer walk. Weakened and sickly, she gave birth to twins. They were named Joseph and Hyrum, and both died within a few days.
The Stillman Pond family arrived at Winter Quarters and, like many other families, they suffered bitterly while living in a tent. The death of the five children coming across the plains to Winter Quarters was but a beginning.
The journal of Horace K. and Helen Mar Whitney verifies the following regarding four more of the children of Stillman Pond who perished:
“On Wednesday, the 2nd of December 1846, Laura Jane Pond, age 14 years, … died of chills and fever.” Two days later on “Friday, the 4th of December 1846, Harriet M. Pond, age 11 years, … died with chills.” Three days later, “Monday, the 7th of December, 1846, Abigail A. Pond, age 18 years, … died with chills.” Just five weeks later, “Friday, the 15th of January, 1847, Lyman Pond, age 6 years, … died with chills and fever. Four months later, on the 17th of May, 1847, his wife Maria Davis Pond also died. Crossing the plains, Stillman Pond lost nine children and a wife. He became an outstanding colonizer in Utah, and became the senior president of the thirty-fifth Quorum of Seventy. (See Leon Y. and H. Ray Pond, comps., “Stillman Pond, a Biographical Sketch,” in Sterling Forsyth Histories, typescript, Church Historical Dept. Archives, pp. 4–5.)
Having lost these nine children and his wife in crossing the plains, Stillman Pond did not lose his faith. He did not quit. He went forward. He paid a price, as have many others before and since, to become acquainted with God.
The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless.
When we pluck the roses, we find we often cannot avoid the thorns which spring from the same stem.
Out of the refiner’s fire can come a glorious deliverance. It can be a noble and lasting rebirth. The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid. There can come a sacred peace. There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. A comfortable cloak of righteousness will be drawn around us to protect us and to keep us warm spiritually. Self-pity will vanish as our blessings are counted.
I now wish to conclude by testifying concerning Jesus as the Christ and the Divine Redeemer. He lives! His are the sweet words of eternal life. He is the Son of the Living God. This is his holy work and glory. This is his church. It is true. I am most grateful for this sacred knowledge. It is my cherished privilege and duty to so testify, which I humbly do. In the hallowed name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen." Amen. It puts life into perspective for me and reminds me of the Savior's counsel to the prophet Joseph Smith while in Liberty Jail, in DamdC 122:7-8 7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the apit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The aSon of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?