Friday, May 31, 2013
Enduring to the end
This sounds better than. . . waiting. Right now, I wait (endure)until 4:10 pm, that is when Lex gets home. I believe that life is more than just a play ground, or something to get through before the real fun starts. I know that we are to become more. It is also necessary for us to pass through life's lessons and experiences, difficult or easy, there are no side roads. I am hoping to come out the other side more like the people I admire who are loving, strong, and trustworthy. I am reminded that our Savor Jesus Christ has chosen to have for now the unmistakable signs of his endurance in His hands and wrists. If we are seeking to be with Him for eternity, what do we have to show for it? Surviving my boys light saber battles without a fatality or another TBI injury is my practical goal for now.
Mr Mom
For those of us who grew up in the 80's, we remember the movie 'Mr. Mom' and all the hilarious things the stay at home dad has to deal with, now that is my life with my own kids afraid of our version of 'Jaws,' the vacuum. In one of my cabin-fever, 'I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it moments,' I called my Pa to be able to get a grip and a better perspective on the situation. He gave me the best compliment that he has ever given me and said, 'Curtis it is a good thing that you have a passion for being a dad.' Thank you and love you my Pa. I have big shoes to fill and am grateful for your example. I am far from perfect, but I know that I am here for a reason. A few years ago, when I was working at Horizonte I went to a training where the presenter asked us to stand and introduce yourself to the group and state what our dream job would be. I said that mine would be a stay-at-home-dad, be careful what you wish for.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Laughing instead of crying
With the accident, I have found that it all can be overwhelming at times(life that is). I have tried to keep notes on funny things that have happened and found that this has been some of the best therapy that life has to offer. Here are a few of those memories:
When I was up at the hospital, one of the things that my Doctors would do every morning is ask me the date. I can remember as a nursing student that this was part of being able to make an assessment of the person's orientation. On one day my mom came into my room before the Doctors had gotten to me on their morning rounds. She thought that she would help me out and tell me what day it was, but told me that it was a different day than it actually was. When I repeated the date that she had told me it was in response to the Doctors asking me the date, she quickly told them that it was her fault for telling me the wrong date. I love you mom for always looking out for me.
The next one is about my left side neglect, when I was in the hospital. I remember one day it was a fight to get me ready for my rehab schedule. I told my wife that I was not ready to go, that 'I needed to wait for Matt,' and tapped my left arm. She said 'Curtis where is Matt, he is at work.' I responded with, 'I will wait for him,' again tapping my left arm but more angrily this time. She responded without laughing in my face, but with the most serious face that she could muster, given the situation, with, 'Curtis, dear, do you think that is Mathew's arm?' I Returned my gaze to her still serious one. She then asked, when we made eye contact, 'How could that be his arm?!' I did not respond, the ridiculousness of my thought hit me. The best part is when I could finally laugh about it and found the courage to tell Matt what had happened, he said that we should give my left arm a name, so that I would not leave it behind. It should be a name that sounds good in Spanish too because you speak Spanish too, Curtis.' I am glad to have 'George' or 'Jorge' in Spanish, my left arm with me always. I appreciate the humorous history of his name.
Speaking of knowing some Spanish, when I fist woke up from my medically induced coma I noticed that I had a tracheodomy in my neck and thought that the best way to describe what I was feeling was in Spanish with 'me duele,' 'it hurts me.'
Lexy paniked and said shaking her head at me, Curtis, I do not speak Spanish, you need to speak English. She latter told me that all she could think about was how in Disney's 'Toy Story III,' how Buzzlightyear is knocked out and they reset him to get him to come to, but he is reset in Spanish mode. As long as the happily ever after ending comes, I am alright with my life being a Disney show.
George gets into trouble,again, while I was in the hospital, Thanks to my master planner of a wife, I always had someone with me. One afternoon when I was with my two younger sisters. I was being helped transferring to my wheelchair from the hospital bed by Lacey, when she started to laugh and was barely able to get out her question/exclamation to me, 'Curtis, I think George is touching my bum?!' I was glad that I was not in control of George at that moment. I was also grateful that we had completed the transfer. We were both laughing so hard, we could have ended up in a heep on the floor together, George included.Jorge you do have a mind of your own at times.
Oh my Lacer, you do make me laugh.You reminded me last night of another experience that we had in the hospital that needs some backdrop explanation to do it justice. When my Lacer got her wisdom teeth out, she was completely incapacitated, not able to stand by her self, unlike my younger brother Kevy, who could not tell fiction from fact, and kept telling the assistant that he had saved her, his princess, my Lacer knew where she was and knew that she needed to use the bathroom. As a nursing student, I was left to help her, but felt embarrassed for her my reply to her plea for help to go was, 'you will have to wait for Pa to get home to help you,' Ahh, karma. . . while she was with me again, I needed to use the restroom, she told me that, 'it may be best to call for the nurse to get some help.'
Not to leave my other sister my Amer out of the funny memories up at the rehab floor, she was taking me out for a stroll in a wheelchair and took a wrong turn to the stairs of the hospital, we did not go over them, but were much more careful going around certain corners.
My Pa felt guilty for not helping me with my first shower and having a girl nursing assistant do it instead, so he and my twin brother coaxed me every night to get cleaned up. After getting my trach out I was nervous to shower and get water in my lungs, three years later and showering alone, I still flinch to put my face in the shower spray. Pa had a brilliant idea to put a piece of tape over the slit in my throat to keep water out, it worked great, but he knew that to get it off it was going to be an ordeal, so, before pulling it off in one swipe he said, 'Curtis smile!'
Back to George, Jan Black, a real person and not one of my limbs, is the lead therapist at Neuroworx and loves to have me tell 'the George story,' She adds at the end of my George history lesson that, 'you know someone has serious neglect when they start naming their own body parts!'
Not to leave my left leg out, my sweet daughter Abby named him 'Bob,' it goes nice with George.'She said
Moving on from 'Bob,' to memories post first hospitalization after the accident August 1st, 2010, I had in-home therapy coming until my credits ran out in February of 2011 and ever since have been going to Neroworx for physical therapy. I love it there and feel like a member of their team. My Pa takes me every Friday, the boys are taken care of by a rotating schedule of family and neighbors. When I lost my job in March 2012, I was worried to have to find another rehabilitation center because of my lose of insurance that came with it. Thanks to my sister-in-laws family donation to Neuroworx that made them able to purchase a machine called the Locomat, I am able to still go as a charity case there, at one of our Friday dates there. I was 'being stepped' in a pre-locomat machine still in use at Neuroworx. I call it the 'washing machine' because of how I feel when I am on it, but it is a harnessing device that suspends you above a treadmill and a therapist or therapists assist(s) you where needed, for me, it was three therapists,one with Bob's ankle, another at my hips, and the other at the master controls of the harness weight distribution and treadmill speed. With this audience my Pa was watching me struggle to relearn to walk. He shouts at me, "Just remember the pain of constipation and it is all relative!' I think that was suppose to encourage me. I had to have a sit down chat with my Pa on socially acceptable comments, even at places that we feel right at home in.
Back to Jorge, when I first got home from the hospital we moved a bed into our main floor living/family room . I begrudgingly did leg exercises every night until I could get stairs down and up. The nights were long by myself and I longed to be with Lex, One afternoon she fell asleep beside me, the kids were at a neighbors home-bless them. I took what I thought was Lex's left hand and told her that this meant so much more now than it ever had, running my thumb over Jorge's knuckles. I laugh only now realizing that is what happened. Lex stayed asleep and never knew that I was whispering to my left arm.
Now,to another hospital stay, I thought that I had the flu about two years ago.I am Spleenless after all. An ER visit and x-ray later, come to find out that I had a bowel obstruction. They had to preform surgery and I got another wicked scar all the way down my stomach that my Maxwell calls my super hero tummy, in his eyes I have the equivalent of a six pack and has even asked me to draw his on for him a number of times. That is not quite how it works my Maxman. If you do choose to work for a superhero tummy, my hope is that you get it the old-fashioned way and not through any kind of surgery. Love you my little super hero.
While I was in the hospital, I was taken to the cafeteria one night by my parents and my twin brother. I got something that I considered safe to try, but was surprised to find out that it was way to spicy for me, I tried to get a quick drink, when that failed to help me, I resorted to wiping my tongue with a napkin. The paper napkin got stuck to my tounge when my twin brother saw this and commented to my parents, Is anyone watching Curtis? What is he doing?!He needs to be supervised.' I need more supervision than I can get bro, love you
When I was up at the hospital, one of the things that my Doctors would do every morning is ask me the date. I can remember as a nursing student that this was part of being able to make an assessment of the person's orientation. On one day my mom came into my room before the Doctors had gotten to me on their morning rounds. She thought that she would help me out and tell me what day it was, but told me that it was a different day than it actually was. When I repeated the date that she had told me it was in response to the Doctors asking me the date, she quickly told them that it was her fault for telling me the wrong date. I love you mom for always looking out for me.
The next one is about my left side neglect, when I was in the hospital. I remember one day it was a fight to get me ready for my rehab schedule. I told my wife that I was not ready to go, that 'I needed to wait for Matt,' and tapped my left arm. She said 'Curtis where is Matt, he is at work.' I responded with, 'I will wait for him,' again tapping my left arm but more angrily this time. She responded without laughing in my face, but with the most serious face that she could muster, given the situation, with, 'Curtis, dear, do you think that is Mathew's arm?' I Returned my gaze to her still serious one. She then asked, when we made eye contact, 'How could that be his arm?!' I did not respond, the ridiculousness of my thought hit me. The best part is when I could finally laugh about it and found the courage to tell Matt what had happened, he said that we should give my left arm a name, so that I would not leave it behind. It should be a name that sounds good in Spanish too because you speak Spanish too, Curtis.' I am glad to have 'George' or 'Jorge' in Spanish, my left arm with me always. I appreciate the humorous history of his name.
Speaking of knowing some Spanish, when I fist woke up from my medically induced coma I noticed that I had a tracheodomy in my neck and thought that the best way to describe what I was feeling was in Spanish with 'me duele,' 'it hurts me.'
Lexy paniked and said shaking her head at me, Curtis, I do not speak Spanish, you need to speak English. She latter told me that all she could think about was how in Disney's 'Toy Story III,' how Buzzlightyear is knocked out and they reset him to get him to come to, but he is reset in Spanish mode. As long as the happily ever after ending comes, I am alright with my life being a Disney show.
George gets into trouble,again, while I was in the hospital, Thanks to my master planner of a wife, I always had someone with me. One afternoon when I was with my two younger sisters. I was being helped transferring to my wheelchair from the hospital bed by Lacey, when she started to laugh and was barely able to get out her question/exclamation to me, 'Curtis, I think George is touching my bum?!' I was glad that I was not in control of George at that moment. I was also grateful that we had completed the transfer. We were both laughing so hard, we could have ended up in a heep on the floor together, George included.Jorge you do have a mind of your own at times.
Oh my Lacer, you do make me laugh.You reminded me last night of another experience that we had in the hospital that needs some backdrop explanation to do it justice. When my Lacer got her wisdom teeth out, she was completely incapacitated, not able to stand by her self, unlike my younger brother Kevy, who could not tell fiction from fact, and kept telling the assistant that he had saved her, his princess, my Lacer knew where she was and knew that she needed to use the bathroom. As a nursing student, I was left to help her, but felt embarrassed for her my reply to her plea for help to go was, 'you will have to wait for Pa to get home to help you,' Ahh, karma. . . while she was with me again, I needed to use the restroom, she told me that, 'it may be best to call for the nurse to get some help.'
Not to leave my other sister my Amer out of the funny memories up at the rehab floor, she was taking me out for a stroll in a wheelchair and took a wrong turn to the stairs of the hospital, we did not go over them, but were much more careful going around certain corners.
My Pa felt guilty for not helping me with my first shower and having a girl nursing assistant do it instead, so he and my twin brother coaxed me every night to get cleaned up. After getting my trach out I was nervous to shower and get water in my lungs, three years later and showering alone, I still flinch to put my face in the shower spray. Pa had a brilliant idea to put a piece of tape over the slit in my throat to keep water out, it worked great, but he knew that to get it off it was going to be an ordeal, so, before pulling it off in one swipe he said, 'Curtis smile!'
Back to George, Jan Black, a real person and not one of my limbs, is the lead therapist at Neuroworx and loves to have me tell 'the George story,' She adds at the end of my George history lesson that, 'you know someone has serious neglect when they start naming their own body parts!'
Not to leave my left leg out, my sweet daughter Abby named him 'Bob,' it goes nice with George.'She said
Moving on from 'Bob,' to memories post first hospitalization after the accident August 1st, 2010, I had in-home therapy coming until my credits ran out in February of 2011 and ever since have been going to Neroworx for physical therapy. I love it there and feel like a member of their team. My Pa takes me every Friday, the boys are taken care of by a rotating schedule of family and neighbors. When I lost my job in March 2012, I was worried to have to find another rehabilitation center because of my lose of insurance that came with it. Thanks to my sister-in-laws family donation to Neuroworx that made them able to purchase a machine called the Locomat, I am able to still go as a charity case there, at one of our Friday dates there. I was 'being stepped' in a pre-locomat machine still in use at Neuroworx. I call it the 'washing machine' because of how I feel when I am on it, but it is a harnessing device that suspends you above a treadmill and a therapist or therapists assist(s) you where needed, for me, it was three therapists,one with Bob's ankle, another at my hips, and the other at the master controls of the harness weight distribution and treadmill speed. With this audience my Pa was watching me struggle to relearn to walk. He shouts at me, "Just remember the pain of constipation and it is all relative!' I think that was suppose to encourage me. I had to have a sit down chat with my Pa on socially acceptable comments, even at places that we feel right at home in.
Back to Jorge, when I first got home from the hospital we moved a bed into our main floor living/family room . I begrudgingly did leg exercises every night until I could get stairs down and up. The nights were long by myself and I longed to be with Lex, One afternoon she fell asleep beside me, the kids were at a neighbors home-bless them. I took what I thought was Lex's left hand and told her that this meant so much more now than it ever had, running my thumb over Jorge's knuckles. I laugh only now realizing that is what happened. Lex stayed asleep and never knew that I was whispering to my left arm.
Now,to another hospital stay, I thought that I had the flu about two years ago.I am Spleenless after all. An ER visit and x-ray later, come to find out that I had a bowel obstruction. They had to preform surgery and I got another wicked scar all the way down my stomach that my Maxwell calls my super hero tummy, in his eyes I have the equivalent of a six pack and has even asked me to draw his on for him a number of times. That is not quite how it works my Maxman. If you do choose to work for a superhero tummy, my hope is that you get it the old-fashioned way and not through any kind of surgery. Love you my little super hero.
While I was in the hospital, I was taken to the cafeteria one night by my parents and my twin brother. I got something that I considered safe to try, but was surprised to find out that it was way to spicy for me, I tried to get a quick drink, when that failed to help me, I resorted to wiping my tongue with a napkin. The paper napkin got stuck to my tounge when my twin brother saw this and commented to my parents, Is anyone watching Curtis? What is he doing?!He needs to be supervised.' I need more supervision than I can get bro, love you
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Sharpening the saw
This life principle comes from Steven R. Covey and is one of his 'Seven Habits of Highly effective people.' From what I recall of this principle, the idea is that you cannot do anything with a dull saw, and so it is with ourselves, if we are not in working order and all 'sharpened' to our full potential, we cannot do our best. in other words, we need to take care of ourselves in order to help and care for others the best way that we can.
I once texed my friend in California that I was doing CHAMPION, I was on an antidepressant, stool softener, anti anxiety, and anti-insomnia meds, how could I not be? His reply was, 'I got to get me some.' Well my friend, when you got it you got it. You got it on your own, so continue to be CHAMPION without meds. Love you Christopherson. Find something that sharpens your saw, from eating right and staying hydrated to finding solace in nature and connecting with something greater than yourself, or doing a crossword puzzle, soduku.
I once texed my friend in California that I was doing CHAMPION, I was on an antidepressant, stool softener, anti anxiety, and anti-insomnia meds, how could I not be? His reply was, 'I got to get me some.' Well my friend, when you got it you got it. You got it on your own, so continue to be CHAMPION without meds. Love you Christopherson. Find something that sharpens your saw, from eating right and staying hydrated to finding solace in nature and connecting with something greater than yourself, or doing a crossword puzzle, soduku.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Training the trainer
I have had amazing trainers (parents) in my life. My mother has always expected my best and was always there, putting motherhood at the top of her list of 'things to do.'Putting 6 children first is no small task especially when you have 4 boys under 5 and come from a family of all girls.At times, Dad would come home to her crying to him that'They are so weird, everything is a weapon and they laugh at every body function,' he would reply with, 'They are just boys, Honey.'When my Father came home once and found me in the coat closet. I remember asking him,through the slates in the door, longingly, 'Hi, Dad. Can I come out of the closet now. after a pause, his response was, 'Curtis, let me check with mom why you are in the closet first.' I quickly replied, so that there would not be any confusion,'She said that if I was going to act like an animal, she would treat me like one.' My father, who I lovingly call my 'Pa,' a shortened version of what I see as his favorite title as 'Grandpa.' He has a saying on his family room wall that reads, 'Grandchildren welcome at anytime,Parents by appointment only.' He is one of my heroes, always quick witted and giving me a reason to smile. He has become one of my best friends. I love them so much and am grateful to mimic them in my parenting/training of my children. Together they have taught me that there is always hope and that the most important thing I will do is be a loving parent/trainer. I watched yesterday as my brother-in-law Greg trained his son Austin on a Right of Passage of mowing a lawn, a service they were doing for me, but by next season one of my victories will be, I am hoping to be master of my lawn domain once again.
I am begining to chuckle at myself as the thought goes through my mind, 'All I need to know as a trainer/parent I learned from PBS Kids,' but that is just the fact that for about ten years. I taught parents for my job the 'Reading Rainbow way to teach your kids; View-Read-Do; connect literacy with media that teaches and a real world, hands on activity all based on the same theme and you not only teach others something you can use it to learn as well.
Needless to say, I am bit of a media Nazi when it comes to my kids, even before getting hit by a teenager on a cell phone.
I hope to be as good as a trainer/parent as mine and my wife's parents. Time will tell. I think that my wife, brothers, brother in law,and sisters, and sisters in law have done a great job on training our trainers. My kids have big shoes to fill indeed.
Right now I am being trained by my Colester and Maxman to walk the walk. I know that when I leave them alone together and all I hear is them yelling, "NO!" at each other, where they are picking that up from-their "NO-ING" dad.
On the lighter side of 'everydayness,' I am having to convince Coleman that he needs to wash both of his hands and not just one like I do.He on the other hand is training me to listen the first time when he says that he is done with his food and ready to get out of his highchair. Or else I have to deal with the consequence of the clean up of whatever he should have finished out of his hair.
I am begining to chuckle at myself as the thought goes through my mind, 'All I need to know as a trainer/parent I learned from PBS Kids,' but that is just the fact that for about ten years. I taught parents for my job the 'Reading Rainbow way to teach your kids; View-Read-Do; connect literacy with media that teaches and a real world, hands on activity all based on the same theme and you not only teach others something you can use it to learn as well.
Needless to say, I am bit of a media Nazi when it comes to my kids, even before getting hit by a teenager on a cell phone.
I hope to be as good as a trainer/parent as mine and my wife's parents. Time will tell. I think that my wife, brothers, brother in law,and sisters, and sisters in law have done a great job on training our trainers. My kids have big shoes to fill indeed.
Right now I am being trained by my Colester and Maxman to walk the walk. I know that when I leave them alone together and all I hear is them yelling, "NO!" at each other, where they are picking that up from-their "NO-ING" dad.
On the lighter side of 'everydayness,' I am having to convince Coleman that he needs to wash both of his hands and not just one like I do.He on the other hand is training me to listen the first time when he says that he is done with his food and ready to get out of his highchair. Or else I have to deal with the consequence of the clean up of whatever he should have finished out of his hair.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Simple.
I am learning life is: simple:'adjective
1.
easy to understand, deal with, use, etc.: a simple matter; simple tools.
2.
not elaborate or artificial; plain: a simple style.
3.
not ornate or luxurious; unadorned: a simple gown.
4.
unaffected; unassuming; modest: a simple manner.
5.
not complicated: a simple design.'(Dictionary.com, may 2013)
Before the accident, I would start my day by running up to nursing school, bring a protein-shake with me to drink for breakfast, studying and going to clinicals, and then a full time job of working for KUED as their Ready to Learn Coordinator, teaching, preparing materials for, designing and training other presenter on hour long bilingual workshops to parents and caregivers in two counties, getting home to study, say hello and goodnight to my family to be ready to do it the next day. Now I am just as busy as Mr.mom, and therapy twice a week, but I have learned to slow down and even took the time to watch my oldest, Abby wake up one morning. It was unforgettable.
Now, I do not mean to infer in anyway,that life is easy, it is tough to choose to live with our own faults and shortcomings, not to mention others'.
Now, I do not mean to infer in anyway,that life is easy, it is tough to choose to live with our own faults and shortcomings, not to mention others'.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Tough Love
My wife, Alexie, has a gift of love. With everything that has happened, the strength of her gift amazes me. She now has to love me enough to say 'no, I will not do it for you, but I will catch you if you fall.' I love you Babe. Thank you for always believing in me, even when I was not on board with believing in myself. I am on board now, thanks to you. The whole time that I was in the hospital she scheduled someone to be with me if she could not be there- I never had a night alone- She made arrangements for someone to help our kids while she was with me, got me to workshops, therapy, made breakfast everyday for me for over a year when I got home from the hospital, and now takes on the role of provider. I am glad that I have you, you are my greatest blessing, afterall, I would't be terrorized by our three happy monsters, if it weren't for you. Loves
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Hardest lesson for me . . .
has been to accept help from others, yes in part it is a macho, I am the man and can take care of myself social conditioned, mindset. I was pursuing a nursing degree because of my desire to save the world and help others.. I would have liked to have believed that I would have acted like these helpful friends and family members, if the tables were turned. From my best friend, Marc Mckay taking me out to lunch the week after I was let go of my job to my better half, twin brother either calling me or putting up with me calling him everyday to check in, my aunt Becky offering to drive across the valley to take me to therapy and help put my two year old down for a nap,uncles and cousins who finished my basement, friends who provided Christmas for me and my family when I got out of the hospital, colleagues who gave up their vacation and sick time for over a year so that I could get insurance coverage and make house payments, my younger brother's in-laws, the Sorensens taking care of a new bathroom and shower that were handicap accessible, a ward and neighborhood that made a ramp in my garage so that I could get into my home after the hospital, a faithful home teacher and friend driving to different hospitals to give me a blessing and taending to my garden for a season, sister-in-laws helping with my kids, coaching my Maxwell in tball, urging me to get on space mountain and the mattahorn while in Disney Land,anonymous donations to my charity fund at a local bank, $2,000 left in an envelop wedged in our front door, my Pa taking me to therapy and being my therapist every Friday, his day off, my mother-in-law coming every Tuesday to help with laundry and getting me to therapy.Allowing my Savor Jesus Christ to take my sins, sorrows and pain on Himself and to be cleansed through the atonement.You all give me hope.Thank you
Monday, May 20, 2013
Circle of influence
'I am like an onion'(Shrek) I have always been guilty of wanting to change the world, just like Shrek. I can remember sitting in my high schools' parking lot with my good friend James Garret trying to figure out how to solve world hunger. We were juniors. He is currently in Jordan helping to reform the education system there with his wife, meanwhile I atempt to save the world by going as green as we can and teaching my children values, like not to kill one another for starters. I also have tried to write a few letters a week to people that have impressed me in some way. When I first got home from the hospital Emily, my sister-in-law wrote to me a few letters for a month or so to encourage me. It worked.thank you Auntie Em. I am now encouraged to follow your lead and hopefully influence and encourage others to do it too. I am reminded of 'paying it forward' and watching a program on UEN every night about ten good things that happened in the world that day.The world would certainly be a different place if we rode the positive energy wave together
Sunday, May 19, 2013
the problem with writing a blog/future book. . .
is that you start to make/see connection everywhere, even when they do not exist, for example; I went to 'Ironman III ' and started to cry when Toni Sparks starts to tell the villain how 'perfect Pepper already was' when you thought she died, you see I was not living the way that I knew that I should be before the accident. I prayed for a change of heart and that my life with my family would be enough and then it happend, I died and my family prayed for me to come back the way that I was. I chose to come back, not knowing what lay in store for me here, but knowing that I was far from perfect.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Terrific Tristan
People have often asked my wife and I how we are doing what we are doing- living with the complications of post accident, TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), Curtis. I have found inspiration to not gripe about my lot in life by looking around me and being inspired by those who are dealing with much more in their lot. One of these persons is my cousin Tiffany's 11 year old son who had bone cancer in his ankle, went through chemo, a leg amputation and still is smiling. He is one of my biggest heroes.
defined
I figured that I should define where it is that I am coming from. It is a running(relearning how to walk) joke between my Pa and I that, 'life is therapy,' we usually bring this up to one another, sharing a smile and a few lighthearted laughs, when something therapeutic or challenging comes our way.
'Life is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have signaling and self-sustaining processes from those that do not,[1][2]either because such functions have ceased (death), or else because they lack such functions and are classified as inanimate.[3][4]Biology is the science concerned with the study of life.' (Wikipedia, May 2013)
My Pa has always told me that 'life is exchanging one set of problems for another.'He is also always quick to say, "life is tough, then you die." I would not do trying to define life justice, without quoting the 'Princess Bride and Wesley saying to Buttercup,"Life is pain!Your Highness, anyone who says otherwise is selling something."
In my grandparent's favorite book,'A Touch of Wonder,' the author states, "There are two types of people, one who see life as a privileged. The other see life as a problem."
Peter Brienholt, sings, "They say that to live is to sorrow"
'Therapy (Latin therapīa; Greek: θεραπεία) literally means "curing, healing"[1] and is the attempted remediation of a health problem, usually following a diagnosis. In the medical field, it is synonymous with the word "treatment". Among psychologists, the term may refer specifically to psychotherapy or "talk therapy".' (Wikipedia, May, 2013)
"Talk was cheep until I started talking to professionals"BNL
The physical Therapist that I have worked with the most is Terri, I was blessed to be working with her as she was training a few PT students. I tried my best to learn what they were learning. I am a geek like that, If I could afford it I would go to school forever. I love learning. Terri defined what she did as a therapist as 'service,' not 'help,' because that would infer that her clients were 'helpless'
The thing about therapy and life for that matter,is that it never gets all 'fine and dandy,' you are always going to be stretched and pulled to get you to the next step or ability. I am reminded of a Neal A. Maxwell saying, "Where you are and where He(Our Father in Heaven) wants you to be requires some stretching at times." the flesh and even my spirit has cried, 'Uncle!' i am glad not to be in charge of life's therapy schedule.
'Life is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have signaling and self-sustaining processes from those that do not,[1][2]either because such functions have ceased (death), or else because they lack such functions and are classified as inanimate.[3][4]Biology is the science concerned with the study of life.' (Wikipedia, May 2013)
My Pa has always told me that 'life is exchanging one set of problems for another.'He is also always quick to say, "life is tough, then you die." I would not do trying to define life justice, without quoting the 'Princess Bride and Wesley saying to Buttercup,"Life is pain!Your Highness, anyone who says otherwise is selling something."
In my grandparent's favorite book,'A Touch of Wonder,' the author states, "There are two types of people, one who see life as a privileged. The other see life as a problem."
Peter Brienholt, sings, "They say that to live is to sorrow"
'Therapy (Latin therapīa; Greek: θεραπεία) literally means "curing, healing"[1] and is the attempted remediation of a health problem, usually following a diagnosis. In the medical field, it is synonymous with the word "treatment". Among psychologists, the term may refer specifically to psychotherapy or "talk therapy".' (Wikipedia, May, 2013)
"Talk was cheep until I started talking to professionals"BNL
The physical Therapist that I have worked with the most is Terri, I was blessed to be working with her as she was training a few PT students. I tried my best to learn what they were learning. I am a geek like that, If I could afford it I would go to school forever. I love learning. Terri defined what she did as a therapist as 'service,' not 'help,' because that would infer that her clients were 'helpless'
The thing about therapy and life for that matter,is that it never gets all 'fine and dandy,' you are always going to be stretched and pulled to get you to the next step or ability. I am reminded of a Neal A. Maxwell saying, "Where you are and where He(Our Father in Heaven) wants you to be requires some stretching at times." the flesh and even my spirit has cried, 'Uncle!' i am glad not to be in charge of life's therapy schedule.
Monday, May 13, 2013
CHAMPION
I had a seminary teacher, Brother Grossen teach a lesson how he did not understand why we did not answer the question, 'How are you doing?' with 'CHAMPION!' I have started to do that now, ten years later. CHAMPION means to me facing adversity as an opportunity to succeed. I truly believe that none of us came into this life to fail. I have a picture in my home from Brigham Young, he said 'The lifetime of man is a day of trial. Wherein we may prove to God in our darkness,in our weakness, and where the enemy reins, that we are our Father's friends.'
Relearning to walk
One of my friends at Nueroworx, where I do my physical therapy, is Mark, who is a bit older than I and has a spinal cord injury. Last week when I came in he was on their new exoskeleton machine the Locomat and asked me how long it took me to relearn to walk. I laughed and said that I was still a work in progress. He then laughed and said 'we all are Curtis,' very true my friend, very true and profound. I do all right. It has been a grueling process,Dale Hull who is the founder of Neuroworx and a recovering spinal cord injury patient as well told me, at my first visit to Neuroworx, which was also my first time meeting Dale, 'your progress will be glacerly slow, other people will see the big chunks fall off, but you will feel every grating and grinding millimeter on the way.' Here's to moving forward as a CHAMPION.
there is no room for people like you in heaven . . .
Was my first impression of Physical Therapists. I cannot say that my mind changed quickly, after all they have to be downright cruel to get someone to go through the pain of getting out of bed, of course if this were true, no parents would have a place in heaven either. but change it did and so have I. I now believe that they very well may be the gate-keepers to heaven, making sure that we have done all in our power to get as far as we are able with what we have been given. In the University of Utah Hospital on the rehab floor. I was under the charge of Julie the lead PT there at the time, she mentioned to me when I was about to be discharged that 'when you have a bad day Curtis, the difference is like night and day.' There is a children's music CD done by the Bare Naked Ladies that is on of my favorite Music collections. I can remember sing a few of the songs while I was at pool therapy at Neuroworx working with my therapist Terri. I love all of my therapists there at Neuroworx, but I have to say there is something special about Terri, it could be because I have worked
with Terri the longest, or her charming South African accent-wins her a bucket load of likable points as well. Maybe it has to do with her not only putting up with me, but believing in me, despite my 'bad days,' and we all have them- a lesson that I have learned over and over again one of my other physical therapists that was doing home care with me right when I got out of the hospital was Cameron. One day Cameron had made the trek across the valley out to the fridges of civilization to where I live in SLC, where we could afford to build our home, it was snowing and I was not feeling well, not considered one of my CHAMPION days. When Cameron came in he could tell that there was something was not right. he said, 'Alright Curtis, everyone has bad days and you cannot expect that to be any different for you, what are you going to do about it. I was asked by the local boy scout group, he is a dear friend, about having a positive attitude. I started by sharring with them this story and that everyone has bad days. I was used to giving small group presentations to parents, not 10-13 year old boys and also shared with them one of my favorite quotes from Elder Dallin H. Oaks, 'that which we persist in doing becomes easier-not that the nature of the thing has changed- but our ability to do has increased.' After telling my wife about how the presentation went she rolled her eyes at me and lovingly patted George, my left arm, as if to say, 'ah my TBI (Tramatic Brain Injury) hubby that wants to inspire the world, when will you learn?'
with Terri the longest, or her charming South African accent-wins her a bucket load of likable points as well. Maybe it has to do with her not only putting up with me, but believing in me, despite my 'bad days,' and we all have them- a lesson that I have learned over and over again one of my other physical therapists that was doing home care with me right when I got out of the hospital was Cameron. One day Cameron had made the trek across the valley out to the fridges of civilization to where I live in SLC, where we could afford to build our home, it was snowing and I was not feeling well, not considered one of my CHAMPION days. When Cameron came in he could tell that there was something was not right. he said, 'Alright Curtis, everyone has bad days and you cannot expect that to be any different for you, what are you going to do about it. I was asked by the local boy scout group, he is a dear friend, about having a positive attitude. I started by sharring with them this story and that everyone has bad days. I was used to giving small group presentations to parents, not 10-13 year old boys and also shared with them one of my favorite quotes from Elder Dallin H. Oaks, 'that which we persist in doing becomes easier-not that the nature of the thing has changed- but our ability to do has increased.' After telling my wife about how the presentation went she rolled her eyes at me and lovingly patted George, my left arm, as if to say, 'ah my TBI (Tramatic Brain Injury) hubby that wants to inspire the world, when will you learn?'
Thursday, May 9, 2013
There is always Hope
I have a quote on my fridge from the back cover of the February Ensign. The quote is by Elder Jeffery R. Holland, "Everyone of us has times when we need to know things will get better. . . My declaration is that this is precisely what the Gospel of Jesus Christ offers us, especially in times of need. There IS help. There IS happiness. . . Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. . . It will be alright in the end. Trust in God and believe in good things to come . . . Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ THEY come."
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Self-medicating
We all do it to some degree or another, my therapist told me a few years ago that I just needed to do it with a healthier thing that I was currently doing, so I started to run, nothing like my friend Borg mind you with his now 1 IronMan and 17+ Marathons, talk about CHAMPION! But, as demeaning it is in the comparison, my half marathons were my out. with life changes as they are now, I am finding that this project to be getting me excited about life again, by connecting me to others.
Monday, May 6, 2013
"If this is smart . . . I would be happy as dumb"
My therapist, Dr. Jeff Robinson told me that he told his other clients about me, when they would say something like 'I am not smart enough to be happy,' I am still not sure if that was a compliment or an insult. Saturday, I went to get my results back from some intense intelligence testing at a place called Learning Solutions, to put it nicely, now with my TBI, I get to see how happy this makes me. To not get all, pity me here, I like to remind myself of what one of my favorite Uncles said to me about a year ago as I struggled to get down the stairs and he raced down them ahead of me. He said, "Curtis you are just the tortoise now and not the hare."Thanks Uncle Mike. I love you.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
My kids saved me
Isn't it suppose to be the other way around? I have already mentioned my larger than life Abby, her kindergarten teacher gave her the title of her very own 'Ann of Green Gables' because of her concern for others and imagination
Maxwell is the superhero in my life always giving me the role of master bad guy and now that Coleman has grown so naturally into that role in his life, I got upgraded to a silly clown like side-kick that provides the comic relief. You, my Maxwell were named after my favorite Apostle and amazing thinker. I am glad that your mind is tuned to good humor and saving people from their sorrows by making me smile at your heroic tasks of getting a diaper and wipes for me to help change Coleman. You are my little hero. I love you.
Coleman, as I am writing this you are watching your brother and sister run around in the backyard as you yell at me that you want to be out there with them. . . . bribing you, they call it positive enforcement now, with a lifesaver of all things to get a diaper change and shoes on, by the time we get that done Abby and Max have come back inside and you have found something to hit Max with. If I live through you trying to raise me as a parent I hope to be more patient and slower to get angry. You got a Darth Vader sticker on your chart for throwing your'izzguzzing (disgusting)! diaper away, master vilan indeed. Coleman I am your father.'
Maxwell is the superhero in my life always giving me the role of master bad guy and now that Coleman has grown so naturally into that role in his life, I got upgraded to a silly clown like side-kick that provides the comic relief. You, my Maxwell were named after my favorite Apostle and amazing thinker. I am glad that your mind is tuned to good humor and saving people from their sorrows by making me smile at your heroic tasks of getting a diaper and wipes for me to help change Coleman. You are my little hero. I love you.
Coleman, as I am writing this you are watching your brother and sister run around in the backyard as you yell at me that you want to be out there with them. . . . bribing you, they call it positive enforcement now, with a lifesaver of all things to get a diaper change and shoes on, by the time we get that done Abby and Max have come back inside and you have found something to hit Max with. If I live through you trying to raise me as a parent I hope to be more patient and slower to get angry. You got a Darth Vader sticker on your chart for throwing your'izzguzzing (disgusting)! diaper away, master vilan indeed. Coleman I am your father.'
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Raising Parents
I wanted to start getting my ideas/lessons that I am learning down. I am afraid that they are not going to be in any particular order here,but again, it is a start (work with me people :)
This morning Lex went to rehursal for Ragtime and I get to be Mr. Mom, the difference this morning is that our household runs a bit like a business instead of a mad-house// theocracy because of one beautiful, musical princess, our Abby Who loves to entertain all of us by giving us roles in her life of production of wonder, make believe, and happiness.It is business like because she gets to do the work of entertainment of her two younger brothers, while I attempt to multitask and write at the same time supervise your production. Love you my Abby. I am trying to learn from her the faith to believe everything is going to be alright, because her sweetness has made life more than bearable today it has made mine happy. My Pa keeps telling me that our Heavenly Father is more concerned about raising parents than He is with us raising our children and that we learn far more from our kids than we can teach them. I am getting there my Pa, I still have a lot to learn from my kids and most days do a CHAMPION of a job at it, thanks to their patience with me, loving neighbors, family, and friends.
This morning Lex went to rehursal for Ragtime and I get to be Mr. Mom, the difference this morning is that our household runs a bit like a business instead of a mad-house// theocracy because of one beautiful, musical princess, our Abby Who loves to entertain all of us by giving us roles in her life of production of wonder, make believe, and happiness.It is business like because she gets to do the work of entertainment of her two younger brothers, while I attempt to multitask and write at the same time supervise your production. Love you my Abby. I am trying to learn from her the faith to believe everything is going to be alright, because her sweetness has made life more than bearable today it has made mine happy. My Pa keeps telling me that our Heavenly Father is more concerned about raising parents than He is with us raising our children and that we learn far more from our kids than we can teach them. I am getting there my Pa, I still have a lot to learn from my kids and most days do a CHAMPION of a job at it, thanks to their patience with me, loving neighbors, family, and friends.
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