It's been far to long. I now walk(my library is "wheelchair-free" for me!) as Mr. Librarian(I should say assistant librarian as I've been "promoted" to read to the kids three times a week and helped train the current librarian. We've got a pretty CHAMPION program, now(If I do say so myself.)). Kids at my school are like kids anywhere: they're honest to a fault and I get asked, almost on a weekly basis, something like, "Why do you walk so weird?" I have to remind myself that they're innocent and are not asking me to be mean. The best is when one of their classmates answers for me and in my defense, something to the effect, "He got in a car accident and used to use a wheelchair here."
Speaking of "milestones," I read this post to my kiddos before I publish it and our Abbers asked me what a "milestone" is? When I explan that it's acheving a goal. I relate it to her being "on point" in ballet. This she understands and wanted me to "toot her horn" here too.
Saturday, December 22, 2018
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Tradition
Lex's 'Fiddler On The Roof" finished it’s run at Highland mid November. I just don't know if it’s because of where I’m at in my life, but it was an emotional roller coaster for me. It’s hard to pick my favorite musical number, but I do know that it was CHAMPION amazing. I loved the 'Sabbath Prayer' song and felt Tevyye's sincere plea. I laughed until I cried at Model's 'Miracle Of Miracles' number. I was able to go see it three times and each time it blew me away. Lex wrote this in her program, "There is so much to say about this show, what it means to me, my experiences with it on stage in the past, my experiences this year, the characters, the actors, my own life- how on earth could I pack it it all in here?!
One afternoon, the beautiful Karen Anson and I were talking across the open window of her car when she said, "It's not just a Jewish story, it's a human story." These words have resonated in my head for 2 months now, bouncing around, lighting up parts of my brain as they ricocheted from one memory to the next.I find parts of myself in Tevye, conversing, joking and even yelling at a God he believes in and trusts with his whole heart; I watch myself running like Golde from one child to the next, always in a hurry, trying to make things better for her family; I see the hope and happiness and even naievete for a lfe wished for in each of Tevye's daughters; I see a world ripped apart by injustice, fears or blindness, still to this day hurting others because we think that we are better, smarter, stronger; I cling to my own people and the comfort of my own homejust like the members of Anatevka. And so here we all are,"Trying to sctratch out a pleaant, simple tune without breaking his neck" every day of our lives.
This semester the cast has devled into the beautiful story of Joseph Stein, the culture and traditions of the Jewish people, and the history of 1905 Russia, attempting to"play truly"(As Stanislavsky writes) so as to honor the messages presented here. I hope the students, and the audience, walk away from their experience here remembering that each of us are imperfect and each of us are flawed, but each of us hopes and dreams and works day in and day out for something better.In short, each of us is human and this is our story."
As the one funny experience with the show after seeing it for the first time, our Maxwell didn’t want to come see it with me again because he said it was to, "sexist." I’m just curious about what "suexist" means to a fifth grader? I didn’t know that a fifth grader had thoughts like that. I love how Lex explained to our Max about his concerns. She first told him of the setting of 'Fiddler.' In Russia in the earl 1900's this was a reality. Next she asked him how the characters, mainly Tevye change and learn that they are wrong. Finally she asked him if our own situation is like what we're taugh in The Family Proclimation, with me being the primary care giver and her providing for us? He thought about it and said no. Lex's follow up question was, "Since our situation isn't 'traditional' were we bad?
I almost forgot about Lex’s ending. At first, I was so mad that I didn’t get to applause her leads. She ended the musical abruptly, with only one curtain call for the entire cast. She came to talk with her sister about her thoughts on the show and asked excitedly, what she thought about her ending. I’d already voiced my frustration, so our Abbers blurted out, “ dad hated it!” As I though about it, I realized that was the point; I’m not suppose to enjoy the ending and the injustice of what’s happening. The point was, for me, driven home in very poingent way. Kuddos to you, Lex.
One afternoon, the beautiful Karen Anson and I were talking across the open window of her car when she said, "It's not just a Jewish story, it's a human story." These words have resonated in my head for 2 months now, bouncing around, lighting up parts of my brain as they ricocheted from one memory to the next.I find parts of myself in Tevye, conversing, joking and even yelling at a God he believes in and trusts with his whole heart; I watch myself running like Golde from one child to the next, always in a hurry, trying to make things better for her family; I see the hope and happiness and even naievete for a lfe wished for in each of Tevye's daughters; I see a world ripped apart by injustice, fears or blindness, still to this day hurting others because we think that we are better, smarter, stronger; I cling to my own people and the comfort of my own homejust like the members of Anatevka. And so here we all are,"Trying to sctratch out a pleaant, simple tune without breaking his neck" every day of our lives.
This semester the cast has devled into the beautiful story of Joseph Stein, the culture and traditions of the Jewish people, and the history of 1905 Russia, attempting to"play truly"(As Stanislavsky writes) so as to honor the messages presented here. I hope the students, and the audience, walk away from their experience here remembering that each of us are imperfect and each of us are flawed, but each of us hopes and dreams and works day in and day out for something better.In short, each of us is human and this is our story."
As the one funny experience with the show after seeing it for the first time, our Maxwell didn’t want to come see it with me again because he said it was to, "sexist." I’m just curious about what "suexist" means to a fifth grader? I didn’t know that a fifth grader had thoughts like that. I love how Lex explained to our Max about his concerns. She first told him of the setting of 'Fiddler.' In Russia in the earl 1900's this was a reality. Next she asked him how the characters, mainly Tevye change and learn that they are wrong. Finally she asked him if our own situation is like what we're taugh in The Family Proclimation, with me being the primary care giver and her providing for us? He thought about it and said no. Lex's follow up question was, "Since our situation isn't 'traditional' were we bad?
I almost forgot about Lex’s ending. At first, I was so mad that I didn’t get to applause her leads. She ended the musical abruptly, with only one curtain call for the entire cast. She came to talk with her sister about her thoughts on the show and asked excitedly, what she thought about her ending. I’d already voiced my frustration, so our Abbers blurted out, “ dad hated it!” As I though about it, I realized that was the point; I’m not suppose to enjoy the ending and the injustice of what’s happening. The point was, for me, driven home in very poingent way. Kuddos to you, Lex.
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Remember Sacrament Meeting Talk
C. S. Lewis wrote in his Weight Of Glory, ”When a layman has to preach a sermon, I think he is more likely to be useful, or even interesting, if he starts exactly where he is himself. Not so much presuming to instruct, as comparing notes.” I’m here in that spirit to compare notes. I like this because I am not only a layman, but my three kiddos would say that I’m a “lame” man in the pop-culture meaning of the word lame as in “un-cool”. I’m still in denial about this, but I will admit to being “lame” as in the biblical meaning: physically handicapped. Now that the pink elephant in the room has been addressed, let me explain my handicap: I was in a car accident August 1, 2010 that left me with a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), left side neglect and left sided hemi-parysis. This means that I’m paralyzed on the left side of my body and my brain doesn’t recognize it as my body. My kiddos have even named my left arm “George” and my left leg “Robert” so that they can help me remember to bring them along. Thanks to my CHAMPION President Pa Baugh for taking me to Physical Therapy at a CHAMPION place called Neuroworx once a week for the past 6 years and my wife’s “tough love” in expecting me to do things for myself and to see carry over from therapy in my every day life, I’m able to stand before you. It is a miracle. Don’t let anyone tell you that they don’t happen because I am a living miracle. I joke with my family all the time that they prayed me back, so they get to deal with me now. Be careful what you pray for.
I have so much to remember to be grateful for. As the layman, I will get more out of this talk than you will, but perhaps that’s as it should be. After all, my wife had
my wedding ring enscribed, with “Don’t Forget” on the inside of it.
To start, the librarian in me, wants to have story time (I get to embarrass my kiddos as I help in the library next door at Horizon a few times a week.). This is a story that sister Wendy Watson shared in her BYU devotional talk on change when she was a professor there and before she got married to then “Elder” Neilson. I think it is just as pertanant for my topic on remember today:
A story is told of a caterpillar named Yellow, who is trying to find out what she will do with her life. In her wandering, she discovers another caterpillar seemingly caught in some gauzy, hairy, filaments. Concerned, she asks if she can help. He explains that this is all the process of becoming a butterfly. When she hears the word, “butterfly” her whole insides leap. “But what is a butterfly?” The cocooned caterpillar explains, “It’s what you were meant to become.” Yellow is intrigued but still a bit defiant. “How can I believe there is a butterfly inside you or me when all I see is a fuzzy worm?” On further reflection she pensively asks, “How does one become a butterfly?” And the answer, “You must want to fly so much, that you are wiling to give up being a caterpillar (I love this: What do we need to do to be able to fly? We need to be willing to give up being a caterpillar).”(I am going to relate this story to me and I invite you to do the same and ask yourself these same reflective questions.) So what am I willing to give up so that I can fly? My spirit wants to fly, my spirit remembers it’s pre-mortal assignments and asperations. What am I willing to give up believing so that I can be all that I really am, all that I committed to be. Perhaps the words of Lorenso Snow will help. He said “Jesus was a God before He came into the world and yet His knowledge was taken from Him. He didn’t know of his former greatness. Neither, do we know what greatness we had attained before we came here. But He had to pass through an ordeal as we have to without knowing or realizing at the time the greatness and importance of His mission and works.” Like Yellow the caterpillar who’s insides leapt at the very sound of the word, “butterfly”. What marveolus words, reoccurring phrases, lofty thoughts, grand concepts, memorable people and unforgettable places are making my whole insides leap these days? Could these eternal leapings be pre-mortal stirrings, brief glimpses of my pre-mortal life? What comes to my heart and mind, what happens to my cells and my soul when I ask myself, “If I were to remember, that I was valiant before I came here, that I have to pass through an ordeal here on earth without remembering what I was like pre-mortally, and without knowing or realizing the greatness and importance of my mission and works now, what would I give up being, doing, feeling, and believing, in order to be all that I really am?” Does that seem to be to grandios of a belief or do I feel the truth imbedded in those words (Are you still doing what I’ve invited you to do to relate this to yourself?)? What am I willing to give up as a child of God, so that I can arise and shine forth as the son of my Heavenly Father that I really am? Is it time to give up my caterpillar lifestyle? Is it time to give up living beneath myself? Time to give up the thoughts and beliefs that keep me groveling on the ground when I could be flying, soaring even? Is it time to lift my sights and cacoon myself away from the old caterpillar way of life so my real self can emerge? What am I willing to give up so that I can fly (forget flying, in my case just walking is enough of a challenge and thrill.(Insert smiley))? Am I willing to give up all my sins, even my favorite ones so that I can really know myself and more importantly, to know the Lord and the healing that can come through my Savior Jesus Christ? The power that can be applied to my disappointments, my temptations, my sorrows and my sufferings? And what would help me? What would provide cacooning? Do you remember Alma and his life changing cacooning process (What will this do for you?)? Thank you for letting me have story time with you. I hope that we will all remember Yellow the caterpillar and that change is always possible because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
There are two more favorite thoughts about remembering that I want to “compare” with you. The first is from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. This is deep, so get ready. He said, “Faith unashamedly uses remembrance as a resource for integrating the past, the present and the future. Granted, in some circumstances we may not presently “know the meaning of all things,’ but by remembering the past, we certainly can know God loves us; and therefore we can trust Him now, just as we have proved Him in the past.” (1Nephi 11:17) (Elder Maxwell for me, needs to be read more than once. So let me read this again.) This is of particularly personal importance as I continue to deal with my life after the accident. I have a lot of questions that I don’t expect to find answers to in this life, because I know for myself through many sacred, personal spiritual experiences that I’ve only had because of the accident, that some things in life are to be learned through experience only and that the miracle comes after the trial of my faith. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and He loves you. I know that you can know that He loves you too. That knowledge continues to help me in my cacooning process, I’ve still got a long way to go. I’m grateful for His patience with me.
The second thought is from President Spencer W. Kimball. He taught, of the great importance that memory plays in our spirituality: Quote, “When you look in the dictionary for the most important word, do you know what it is? It could be remember. Because all of you have made covenants—you know what to do and you know how to do it- our greatest need is to remember. That is why everyone goes to sacrament meeting every Sabbath day- to take the sacrament and listen to the priests pray that they, ‘may always remember Him and keep His commandments that He has given them.’ Nobody should ever forget to go to sacrament meeting. Remember is the word. Remember is the program.” unquote I’m afraid that my kiddos may think that I’m so righteous for being a stickler about coming to church every Sunday, but it is actually the opposite: I need the sacrament every week because of my unworthiness and continual need to repent, but my twin brother text me a quote about this from Hugh Nibley that I need to commit to memory: Hugh Nibley said in his book Approaching Zion, “Who is a righteous man? Any one who is repenting, no matter how bad he has been. There is hope for him and no matter how good he has been his whole life, if he is not repenting, he is a wicked man. The difference is which way you’re facing. The man on the top of the stairs facing down is much more worse off than the man on the bottom step facing up. The direction we are facing, that is repentance; and that is what determines whether we are good or bad.” I continue to be taught this lesson by my life’s therapy:
that repentance is a life long process that requires me to be humble not just once, but to incorporate it as an attribute (that and to keep facing up on the stairs. Don’t get stuck.).
Now there are different levels of remembering, I am also learning (I not only walk, slowly, but I’m a slow learner as well). To continue with our exersize in self-reflection (for through it, is how change will occur): What kind of things help you to remember your covenants in times of trial? This reminds me of a favorite saying of my President Pa Baugh (yes, you asked me to speak with you so, I get to throw you under the bus. (Again, insert smiley face this time, with the tongue sticking out.) Yes, I can only communicate with emojies and GIF’s.)) My President Pa Baugh has said, “ I know that families are forever, but does it have to be EVERY day?” Like him, I love my family, although they do drive me crazy from time to time. I know that the times that I’m able to remember my eternal relationship with them are the times that I also succeed in remembering my covenants with my Father In Heaven. I am grateful to know that my imperfect faith to remember is still faith and that He’s faithful in rewarding my broken efforts.
I’d like to remember to tell you about my phone. I told my Maxwell that I’ve wanted to come and bare my testimony with it to show you all that it’s like me: I’m broken like it, but I still work like it does. It is also unique like me. I won’t even get confused for my twin brother now. Although it was fun to see the doctor’s reactions in the hospital right after the accident when Matt came to be with me. They got confused and thought he was me. “It really is a miracle,” they must have thought.
I know that remembering works and as we look forward to celebrating pioneer day. Let us not only remember what they did, but let us remember why they did it and what their trials made them into (aka their “cacooning”) as they put their faith into living their covenants, again, let us remember is my prayer. In the name, of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I have so much to remember to be grateful for. As the layman, I will get more out of this talk than you will, but perhaps that’s as it should be. After all, my wife had
my wedding ring enscribed, with “Don’t Forget” on the inside of it.
To start, the librarian in me, wants to have story time (I get to embarrass my kiddos as I help in the library next door at Horizon a few times a week.). This is a story that sister Wendy Watson shared in her BYU devotional talk on change when she was a professor there and before she got married to then “Elder” Neilson. I think it is just as pertanant for my topic on remember today:
A story is told of a caterpillar named Yellow, who is trying to find out what she will do with her life. In her wandering, she discovers another caterpillar seemingly caught in some gauzy, hairy, filaments. Concerned, she asks if she can help. He explains that this is all the process of becoming a butterfly. When she hears the word, “butterfly” her whole insides leap. “But what is a butterfly?” The cocooned caterpillar explains, “It’s what you were meant to become.” Yellow is intrigued but still a bit defiant. “How can I believe there is a butterfly inside you or me when all I see is a fuzzy worm?” On further reflection she pensively asks, “How does one become a butterfly?” And the answer, “You must want to fly so much, that you are wiling to give up being a caterpillar (I love this: What do we need to do to be able to fly? We need to be willing to give up being a caterpillar).”(I am going to relate this story to me and I invite you to do the same and ask yourself these same reflective questions.) So what am I willing to give up so that I can fly? My spirit wants to fly, my spirit remembers it’s pre-mortal assignments and asperations. What am I willing to give up believing so that I can be all that I really am, all that I committed to be. Perhaps the words of Lorenso Snow will help. He said “Jesus was a God before He came into the world and yet His knowledge was taken from Him. He didn’t know of his former greatness. Neither, do we know what greatness we had attained before we came here. But He had to pass through an ordeal as we have to without knowing or realizing at the time the greatness and importance of His mission and works.” Like Yellow the caterpillar who’s insides leapt at the very sound of the word, “butterfly”. What marveolus words, reoccurring phrases, lofty thoughts, grand concepts, memorable people and unforgettable places are making my whole insides leap these days? Could these eternal leapings be pre-mortal stirrings, brief glimpses of my pre-mortal life? What comes to my heart and mind, what happens to my cells and my soul when I ask myself, “If I were to remember, that I was valiant before I came here, that I have to pass through an ordeal here on earth without remembering what I was like pre-mortally, and without knowing or realizing the greatness and importance of my mission and works now, what would I give up being, doing, feeling, and believing, in order to be all that I really am?” Does that seem to be to grandios of a belief or do I feel the truth imbedded in those words (Are you still doing what I’ve invited you to do to relate this to yourself?)? What am I willing to give up as a child of God, so that I can arise and shine forth as the son of my Heavenly Father that I really am? Is it time to give up my caterpillar lifestyle? Is it time to give up living beneath myself? Time to give up the thoughts and beliefs that keep me groveling on the ground when I could be flying, soaring even? Is it time to lift my sights and cacoon myself away from the old caterpillar way of life so my real self can emerge? What am I willing to give up so that I can fly (forget flying, in my case just walking is enough of a challenge and thrill.(Insert smiley))? Am I willing to give up all my sins, even my favorite ones so that I can really know myself and more importantly, to know the Lord and the healing that can come through my Savior Jesus Christ? The power that can be applied to my disappointments, my temptations, my sorrows and my sufferings? And what would help me? What would provide cacooning? Do you remember Alma and his life changing cacooning process (What will this do for you?)? Thank you for letting me have story time with you. I hope that we will all remember Yellow the caterpillar and that change is always possible because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
There are two more favorite thoughts about remembering that I want to “compare” with you. The first is from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. This is deep, so get ready. He said, “Faith unashamedly uses remembrance as a resource for integrating the past, the present and the future. Granted, in some circumstances we may not presently “know the meaning of all things,’ but by remembering the past, we certainly can know God loves us; and therefore we can trust Him now, just as we have proved Him in the past.” (1Nephi 11:17) (Elder Maxwell for me, needs to be read more than once. So let me read this again.) This is of particularly personal importance as I continue to deal with my life after the accident. I have a lot of questions that I don’t expect to find answers to in this life, because I know for myself through many sacred, personal spiritual experiences that I’ve only had because of the accident, that some things in life are to be learned through experience only and that the miracle comes after the trial of my faith. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and He loves you. I know that you can know that He loves you too. That knowledge continues to help me in my cacooning process, I’ve still got a long way to go. I’m grateful for His patience with me.
The second thought is from President Spencer W. Kimball. He taught, of the great importance that memory plays in our spirituality: Quote, “When you look in the dictionary for the most important word, do you know what it is? It could be remember. Because all of you have made covenants—you know what to do and you know how to do it- our greatest need is to remember. That is why everyone goes to sacrament meeting every Sabbath day- to take the sacrament and listen to the priests pray that they, ‘may always remember Him and keep His commandments that He has given them.’ Nobody should ever forget to go to sacrament meeting. Remember is the word. Remember is the program.” unquote I’m afraid that my kiddos may think that I’m so righteous for being a stickler about coming to church every Sunday, but it is actually the opposite: I need the sacrament every week because of my unworthiness and continual need to repent, but my twin brother text me a quote about this from Hugh Nibley that I need to commit to memory: Hugh Nibley said in his book Approaching Zion, “Who is a righteous man? Any one who is repenting, no matter how bad he has been. There is hope for him and no matter how good he has been his whole life, if he is not repenting, he is a wicked man. The difference is which way you’re facing. The man on the top of the stairs facing down is much more worse off than the man on the bottom step facing up. The direction we are facing, that is repentance; and that is what determines whether we are good or bad.” I continue to be taught this lesson by my life’s therapy:
that repentance is a life long process that requires me to be humble not just once, but to incorporate it as an attribute (that and to keep facing up on the stairs. Don’t get stuck.).
Now there are different levels of remembering, I am also learning (I not only walk, slowly, but I’m a slow learner as well). To continue with our exersize in self-reflection (for through it, is how change will occur): What kind of things help you to remember your covenants in times of trial? This reminds me of a favorite saying of my President Pa Baugh (yes, you asked me to speak with you so, I get to throw you under the bus. (Again, insert smiley face this time, with the tongue sticking out.) Yes, I can only communicate with emojies and GIF’s.)) My President Pa Baugh has said, “ I know that families are forever, but does it have to be EVERY day?” Like him, I love my family, although they do drive me crazy from time to time. I know that the times that I’m able to remember my eternal relationship with them are the times that I also succeed in remembering my covenants with my Father In Heaven. I am grateful to know that my imperfect faith to remember is still faith and that He’s faithful in rewarding my broken efforts.
I’d like to remember to tell you about my phone. I told my Maxwell that I’ve wanted to come and bare my testimony with it to show you all that it’s like me: I’m broken like it, but I still work like it does. It is also unique like me. I won’t even get confused for my twin brother now. Although it was fun to see the doctor’s reactions in the hospital right after the accident when Matt came to be with me. They got confused and thought he was me. “It really is a miracle,” they must have thought.
I know that remembering works and as we look forward to celebrating pioneer day. Let us not only remember what they did, but let us remember why they did it and what their trials made them into (aka their “cacooning”) as they put their faith into living their covenants, again, let us remember is my prayer. In the name, of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Life’s Therapy on getting my talk on “remembering” ready:
So, I was asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting in July with my President Pa Baugh as his companion speaker. First off, I get my "gift of gab" from him(It's only a portion of what he's got). I was honored but intimidated because I know what goes into my Pa prepping to speak. I didn't want to let him down or look like an idiot. As always there's a story to go along with me and my talk:
• I Started out with the two quotes from Matt that he text to me when I told him of my predicament, but it was to short(My Pa kept insisting, or do we call that "ministering" now? ;p) that he'd help fill in the time, but needed something to work with), so I added "Yellow’s" story from a podcast that I’d been listening to.
• Next, I read it over and over again to my kiddos. I annoyed my Abbers even more by asking her to help me transcribe "Yellow’s" story.
• The day before, I wanted to read it through on paper to get the flipping of pages right. Yes, I'm still a recovering perfectionist. So, I had to ask Lex to help me print it because I am not tech savy. She had to save it to a USB and then connect that to our printer. Who would've thought?
• I wasn't even in the same ballpark as my President Pa Baugh, but as promised,
he made up for me going over my proposed time. Be careful what you ask me for.
• I gave my copy to GB(Grandma Baugh) because she ran up to me to ask for it after the meeting ended. Well, my Pa took it from her as I handed it to her, so that he’d have a copy to give to my Mommsy because she wasn't able to be there to hear us. But my Mommsy wanted me to read it to her a few days later when I walked over for a visit and she told me how proud it made Pa. That was a CHAMPION day.
• I Started out with the two quotes from Matt that he text to me when I told him of my predicament, but it was to short(My Pa kept insisting, or do we call that "ministering" now? ;p) that he'd help fill in the time, but needed something to work with), so I added "Yellow’s" story from a podcast that I’d been listening to.
• Next, I read it over and over again to my kiddos. I annoyed my Abbers even more by asking her to help me transcribe "Yellow’s" story.
• The day before, I wanted to read it through on paper to get the flipping of pages right. Yes, I'm still a recovering perfectionist. So, I had to ask Lex to help me print it because I am not tech savy. She had to save it to a USB and then connect that to our printer. Who would've thought?
• I wasn't even in the same ballpark as my President Pa Baugh, but as promised,
he made up for me going over my proposed time. Be careful what you ask me for.
• I gave my copy to GB(Grandma Baugh) because she ran up to me to ask for it after the meeting ended. Well, my Pa took it from her as I handed it to her, so that he’d have a copy to give to my Mommsy because she wasn't able to be there to hear us. But my Mommsy wanted me to read it to her a few days later when I walked over for a visit and she told me how proud it made Pa. That was a CHAMPION day.
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