Saturday, January 24, 2015

Mental fitness

What do you do for it in the morning and before going on autopilot? Other than getting yourself dressed? (try it, when half of your body is paralyzed and you'll see how much of a mental, problem-solving activity it becomes)  I keep telling people who are graduating from college that they will miss it going to college not getting dressed, most people need convincing that will be true. I miss not being in school, If I had the money I would always be in it, but I am a nerd.
My Pa signed me up for Brain HQ and I've been on that once a month for a half a year. I just recently discovered Luminosity, which is a free sight, and have got hooked and play against my kiddos. I was frustrated that My Abbyster was beating me. My Maxwell heard me and got serious, having me look in his eyes as he reminded me, " you were in a car accident and have had some short-term memory loss." Who is the parent in this scenario?

Monday, January 19, 2015

Special Needs

I have always secretly thought that Lex and I would be great parents to a child who needed extra attention. I never imagined that I would be that husband and father that would be special needs. I have done well in not feeling like I was in this category until I did a video recording at Neuroworx for a Exit By Text exhibit. While on camera I was working with my therapist Matt Hansen, Big Man Matt. He kept talking me up, to the point that it felt a bit awkward. I thought, I do this too, to my kids and people who are a bit slower mentally.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Ups & downs

My goal is not to use my wheelchair in the new house. So far so good, I am amazed at how many times I sit down and have to stand back up during the day. This reminds me of a part in my favorite Disney movie Sword in the Stone, when Merlin turns Arthur into a fish  and He says, "Life has lots of ups and downs, like a helicopter."Of course Arthur doesn't know what a helicopter is. In the same show, Fiar Tuck is taken away during the song," Sometimes ups out number the downs" being played in the background
 Lex noticed a more laxidasical attitude that I had about things. I thought that this was like Maxwell and him being exhausted from the change of being at school all day, getting home and being completely unreasonable because of it. I was exhausted from the mental effort of walking all day. She was worried that it was more than that and that I should talk to my rehab Dr. about possibly going off my "chill-pill "which I did. Thanks  to getting off of it and to my "light therapy," I am on an upswing. I think that a vacation with the family to the Magical Kingdom may have had a part in the upswing too. I know that the mundane wears on me, grinding away at my sense of purpose. My Bishop still comes over once a week to check on me and to get tutored in Spanish. I am grateful that he gives me a chance to serve him.He told me that while he was listening to the radio, to a motivational speaker, the comment was made that the two most important days of your life are, first the day that you were born and second, the day that you find out why you were born. I have the unique experience to have had the chance to choose to come back to this life. I know that I am here for a reason and am daunted at my imperfections and weaknesses. Not many people have second chances in life. I'm excited to continue to uncover joy in the Journey, as iI'm a work in progress, just like all of us are.
I am currently reading a book that was given to me for Christmas, Am I a Saint, Yet? It is all about overcoming perfectionism. The first technique talked about has you journal your thoughts to help you become more self-aware of the negative self-talk that holds you back and strangles the life out of best, yet imperfect attempts at anything. I was shocked to see how unrelentingly cruel I am to myself.
 "I need more help than you can offer" is my usual response to my Abby girl who is always looking to help her CHAMPION of a Dork dad.
My Pa keeps reminding me that although my situation is a bit on the extreme side, I am not alone, that my problems are just like everyone else's, in that we all have problems. This leads to on of his favorite sayings, "Life is exchanging one set of problems for another." One of Lex's hopes as a parent is to instill in our children are that they are problem-solvers. As a mentor she sees first hand both sides of the spectrum of young adults who, on one side are avoiders or in denial to the other side of taking on everyone's problems.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Life's simple,

At least the answers to life's hard questions are. I read 'Dad is Fat' by Jim Gaffigan. Thanks to it being recommended to me by my second cousins' husband. I love it and read it quickly,  staying up until 11pm to laugh out load. I text Lanea to have her tell Chris that I was enjoying it so and she text back, "Sometimes the heart needs a good laugh." I agree.
It was one of the books that became my gift of choice to others this year at Christmas. Nerdy, giving a book, but I loved the books that I got this year.
I saw my therapist Dr. Jeff Robinson  a few months ago and he gave me a calendar to chart my prayers, scripture reading, meditation, and visualizations of success. For the last one he used the story of a client who had a paper route and would say to himself, "Not in the bushes, not in the bushes!" and guess where he would end upthrowing the newspaper when he would say that to himself? it would go right into the bushes. I need to meditate and visualize my success. I watched a news story on the power of meditation. the report was on a school in California that had tried everything to help their students, but only found success, and were amazed at the impact, when they implemented having their students have 2 15mins of quiet time during the school day. The teachers thought that it was a joke at first. ready, (No joke) clear your mind and breath with me.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Christmas Magical Maddness at the Magical Kingdom

My parents decided that they wanted to take all their children and our families to Disneyland for Christmas this year. There were 29 of us, we were the line anywhere we went. here are my highlights:

Theme of trip:

"Believe" hoodies made by my sisters-in-laws, it was a good thing that we had them with all the rain that we got our first day there.
Importance to remember I have a habit of getting trapped into thinking that my now is the only thing that exists, sometimes this is a good thing, very Zen-like. way to live, but other times the pendulum swings to a bogged down despair. I thought as I was enjoying my vacation with my family, if only I can keep all of this in my memory to be able to use in those times of despair and drudgery in the mundane, things would work out for me.Matt ad I were talking about how, now that we're home, it all seems like a dream

Pesonal Goal:

Survive and not go over a curb in my wheelchair, Just as important and contributing to my survival,not to ride  I't a small World.

I am a T shirt junkie, so here are my favorites:

1.The Genie from Aladin, I'm here. So, what are your other two wishes?(This is the one Lex bought for me)
2.Darth Vader on the dumbo ride
3. The Dopey in you brings out the Grumpy in me

A "bloopers" reel (what's a vacation without a few?):
Getting on cars with Jake, I fell when he tried to help me get into the ride. I am alright, but felt bad that it append to my new brother in law. Don't feel bad Jake because before that Lacer let me run into a handrail while she was pushing me down hill.

Transfer on STAR TOURS with Dr. Neal & cars with Pa
Loosing Jammin Jay at the airport

A Lesson to teach( Because I am a parent):

Waiting on the plane home & at Disneyland for rides, made me proud to be teaching them that somethings in life are better because you get to wait for them first.(I'll get off my instant-gratification is ruining our kids soap-box now)

                                                                 Memorable Quotes:

My Lacer, who is a 3rd grade teacher couldn't let it go, of all her teacher genes even while on vacation Now boys & girls! 
Also from my Lacer,"No one wants to ride with me!"
Coleman, "Dad ruined ALL my plans. I wanted  to be a JEDI!"
Blake on Pirates of the Caribbean, In response to one of the kids asking,"are there more dead people?" He said," No, there's only real people, well fake real people." once a lawyer, always a lawyer, even on vacation.
Max after  the longest line that we waited in for the Peterpan ride said, "That was it?!"
Coleman riding the buzzlight year ride and spinning grandma.
Shannon telling Kevin and Heather not to takeout on the Indianna Jones ride. Me telling Jake thanks for not making out with me. Him not wanting to respond with "my pleasure."
Pa sitting and eating lunch by himself. He just needs some time alone.
Amers and I teasing each other about who's waiting for who.

Asking Pa how my boys slept, "Max was out but Cole wouldn't leave him alone, he was wired". welcome to my life my Pa, no different than any other day
Coleman waking up the first night, running out in the morning looking for Max and Abby and me yelling for Abby to help me find him, but she was with grandma and grandpa.
My Pa,:Disneyland is the only place that's the happiest place on earth that you can go to hell too."
Maxwell fighting Darth Vader made the whole trip worth it:
Amyer laughed so hard that she was crying.It was his life-long dream come true, it's a good thing that he's only 6.Because it was already too long of a wait to be able to live his dream. My Pa keeps saying that we have a good actor on our hands. I agree and don't think that they could've scripted this any better, but I am biased.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Relearning to walk update

My home is still  wheelchair free. I do bring a kitchen  chair over to load/unload the dishwasher and am working on bending over to pick things up,walking without a cane, and overall balance at therapy at Neuroworx.
I am excited about my progress. I still use my wheelchair at church and at the kids school. So, that's twice a week. It is interesting to me that when I sit down in it, it feels foreign. I never thought that would ever happen.CHAMPION indeedy.
In my getting around my home, I've found that if I can get my feet to point in the right direction before I start walking, I have more success with my balance."Start at the very begining" Curtis, "A very good place to start." I try to make my Saturdays, steppin' Saturdays and not use my cane.
I was excited to see my older brother and his family over the Christmas break. Last year. I cannot believe how much their 5 kids grow in six to eight months, we usually see them for Christmas and in the Summer. Shannon, my sister in law is always so kind to tell me about the progress she sees in me.  It's hard for me to see my progress as I have "pie in the sky" hopes and goals, that coupled with my all or nothing thinking and i'm prone to discouragement.


I dream big to shoot for the stars and if I get to the moon, Ill be better off than not trying at all.
1. I want to walk to my parent's home from my house.
2. get back to the temple
3. start public speaking about distracted driving
4. have a "wheelchair free" year, my thought with my yellow beauty was "Disneyland or bust" and I went twice with it.