Ups & downs

My goal is not to use my wheelchair in the new house. So far so good, I am amazed at how many times I sit down and have to stand back up during the day. This reminds me of a part in my favorite Disney movie Sword in the Stone, when Merlin turns Arthur into a fish  and He says, "Life has lots of ups and downs, like a helicopter."Of course Arthur doesn't know what a helicopter is. In the same show, Fiar Tuck is taken away during the song," Sometimes ups out number the downs" being played in the background
 Lex noticed a more laxidasical attitude that I had about things. I thought that this was like Maxwell and him being exhausted from the change of being at school all day, getting home and being completely unreasonable because of it. I was exhausted from the mental effort of walking all day. She was worried that it was more than that and that I should talk to my rehab Dr. about possibly going off my "chill-pill "which I did. Thanks  to getting off of it and to my "light therapy," I am on an upswing. I think that a vacation with the family to the Magical Kingdom may have had a part in the upswing too. I know that the mundane wears on me, grinding away at my sense of purpose. My Bishop still comes over once a week to check on me and to get tutored in Spanish. I am grateful that he gives me a chance to serve him.He told me that while he was listening to the radio, to a motivational speaker, the comment was made that the two most important days of your life are, first the day that you were born and second, the day that you find out why you were born. I have the unique experience to have had the chance to choose to come back to this life. I know that I am here for a reason and am daunted at my imperfections and weaknesses. Not many people have second chances in life. I'm excited to continue to uncover joy in the Journey, as iI'm a work in progress, just like all of us are.
I am currently reading a book that was given to me for Christmas, Am I a Saint, Yet? It is all about overcoming perfectionism. The first technique talked about has you journal your thoughts to help you become more self-aware of the negative self-talk that holds you back and strangles the life out of best, yet imperfect attempts at anything. I was shocked to see how unrelentingly cruel I am to myself.
 "I need more help than you can offer" is my usual response to my Abby girl who is always looking to help her CHAMPION of a Dork dad.
My Pa keeps reminding me that although my situation is a bit on the extreme side, I am not alone, that my problems are just like everyone else's, in that we all have problems. This leads to on of his favorite sayings, "Life is exchanging one set of problems for another." One of Lex's hopes as a parent is to instill in our children are that they are problem-solvers. As a mentor she sees first hand both sides of the spectrum of young adults who, on one side are avoiders or in denial to the other side of taking on everyone's problems.