conundrum according to wikipedia (www.wikipedia.com June, 2015): ":A logical postulation that evades resolution, an intricate and difficult problem."AKA dead-ends, "struggles"
Unfortunately my list is long:
All or nothing thinking: extreme polarization of problemsolving reasoning, or the lack thereof
((As an example, look at my following common conundrums)
"Don't Forget" written on the inside of my wedding ring. This reminds me of a talk I heard at EFY that made connections from the LION KING and the Gospel, Simba being us and Mufasa our Heavenly Father, Pumba the Relief Society Pres. Rafiki the Holy Ghost, and the idea of us needing to remember who we really are, as it has to do with our search for meaning in this life.
Isolation: thinking that I am the only one who has ever felt this way or has to deal with my specific problems. Alone
Avoidance: not wanting to really deal with life and escaping in this cycle.
Self-pity:"Woe is me" party
"Compensating curt" is what some of my therapists at Neuroworx call me because I gave a Knack of getting things done, the right or wrong way, I still get it done.
Futility of my endless search for a panacea
Habitual exhaustion, a side effect of getting older + a TBI
Uneasy disatisfaction with myself, i am not yet a reovered perfectionist. I've got a long way to go. A work in progress. Wanting patience, but right now
hindsight's learning curve for example I think I proof read before ii post here, only to reread them here in embarassment, in hope to not have exposed my haste to my vunerability and need to connect with others, but on the other side my self-preservation and CHAMPION facade
living life in reverse, post-accident
"I'm a grenade" taken from 'A Fault in our Stars" the feeling that I will eventually and inevitably let others & myself down.
My tendency of painting myself into a corner, in my attempt to see both sides of a problem.
TMI: I over share as a DW, writing diva but feel that words are inadequate
boredom: that's when I get into trouble
exhibition & TMI: wanting everyone to learn from my experience, but refusing to learn and become what I need to. I keep telling Lex that I didn't choose to come back, just to make the same mistakes again and yet I still struggle. I want to be a CHAMPION, but there are days I feel more like a chunpion.