Friday, May 8, 2015

My idea of Hell. . . .

Hell is a place where I cannot laugh. I'm not there yet. C.S. Lewis writes in Screwtape Letters that the devil cannot stand to be mocked. I keep repeating to myself a line from Batman Forever, "Why so serious?" My Amers quoted this while laughing at her Emery who's favorite dressup at grandma's is batman. She was decked out in it, but was crying. Laugh with me.

I see Lex less this summer less than when she's working during the school year because she's the lead in Murray's musical Annie this summer and helping costume the Draper City's production of Alice in wonderland that Abby's in and her sister's directing. So between the two rehursals she brings home lunch. On one morning we were watching Cash and I sat down on our couch downstairs where Lex had some clean laundry. When I got upstairs, lex was giggling at me because my shorts had a multicolored sock stuck to the rear-end pocket Velcro.
I went to lunch with friends from high school  and we shared  our favorite memories, one of them was skiing, back when we were young enough to enjoy it and when it was affordable, Gary accidentally set off a domino effect and knocked down an entire row of  skies.
The irony of me putting my wheelchair together while standing and not wanting to ask for help
Aunty Em sing to me in Spanish on my Birthday,  "Feliz cumpliaños aqui." Instead of "a ti" thanks for humoring me Aunty Em.
My father's Day primary fill in the blanks by my kiddos: my dad's favorite activity: Abby's reponse: teading the scriptures
Maxwell's: watching PBS
Coleman's: painting
My best friend from high school helped me plant my garden. I need to weed it so I came up with "Weeding Wednesdays" to recruit my kiddos help. We have weed killer that we use for our lawn and for my CHAMPION parenting tip: i'm recommending you don't ask your kids to handle poisons in any form. I did have my kiddos help me, only to find latter that my big helper Cole sprayed a couple of my tomatoe plants too. No worries, the tomatoe plants and the weeds sprayed by him are still going strong and even taste good.
Lex asked me  to be helpful and not do the laundry because the last two times I put her clothes that aren't suppose to go into the dryer into the dryer. I told her that I couldn't promise her anything, but I would try to not be helpful.
We started swimming lessons at a home in our neighborhood where I could walk over with Max and Coleman. On our first day, I forget to have them use the bathroom(CHAMPION parenting, I know). Maxwell cannot sit still next to me as Coleman gets into the pool for his lesson. Because I'm in my wheelchair I cannot get to a place where I can ask the teacher about him using the restroom, so I tell my Max that he needs to ask her where the restroom is(obstical#1: overcome by listening to when nature calls. That a boy, Max) The backdoor is locked (obstical #2: overcome by asking how to get in again.) Max comes back from going around to the front, way to soon to have gone, he's got a look of defeat on his face, but his pants aren't wet. I look into his eyes and see terror as he tells me that there's a big dog sitting next to the bathroom door inside. Now for those of you who don't know my Maxwell, he is deathly afraid of dogs in fact I might lay in laws house when dogs will bark you will cover his eyes and pretend that they're not there.anotther example of his deathly fear of dogs, on his way to school, two houses down there's a dog in the yard the barks from under the fence, he tells me every time I walk him to school to be very quiet. I think to myself that there's no way that he's going to be able to go in and use the bathroom with a big dog guarding the door(impossible #3 obstical overcome by asking his teacher about the dog and making Dakota his friend)  every time we went to swimming lessons he'd go inside to visit him.
Lex did a CHAMPION job speaking on the parable of the lost coin in sacrament meeting and said, "oh, crap!" Over the pilpit. Aunty Em and I couldn't stop laughing about it at her parent's when we were there for dinner.

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