Crazy?

Would you go?If everyone else could fly, but you couldn't?(I'm not sure where the "Yoda talk" comes in but it was entertaining for me) I know that I'm not suppose to compare myself to others(especially not Yoda), but I do(not to Yoda on a regular basis, because that would be crazy.) and it hurts because of the things that I cannot do, that I was able to do before the accident. The words to a song by John Mayer run through my head, "Bigger than My Body":

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

As I told my Elder's Quorum on Sunday in my self-pity party of my comments, I  know I could get stuck here if I let myself, it would be the easy thing to do,
I could sing the song Superman (It's Not Easy):
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird,
I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
'Bout a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd but don't be naïve
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me
Well, it's alright
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me, inside of me

But, then I really would go crazy.  Instead I  try to remind myself of the things that I can do, and that list is getting longer all the time. Last Thursday, I did things in therapy with George that I never thought that I'd be able to do again. I held a ball against the wall and did circles with it. I'm grateful for Neuroworx and the hope that I continue to find there with their motto of "Pushing for more." So progress gives me hope and keeps me from going crazy. I keep telling myself that I've been through the worst. Knock on wood. At least I'm not in a hospital bed and unconscious with Lex sitting by me and  praying for me to come back to her. I'm here Babe. You prayed me back and I chose to come.  S we all get to deal with the aspiring CHAMPION. I keep reminding myself of Elder Dale G. Runland said this past April General Conference on his talk, Latter-day Saints Keep on trying. He quotes Nelson Mandela, "I'm no Saint, unless a Saint is a sinner who keeps trying."
I also try to take a look at all the tender mercies that have append post accident. I have a new appreciation for all the little things in my life that are really the important things, my relationships with my family & taking time to be with them. I would've never slowed down enough to enjoy them as much as I do now.
On my Coleman's preschool calendar every month there's a thought. for May it's from Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't; you're right. Since my doing thing in therapy that I thought were no longer in my ability to do. I have experienced what Dr. Norman Doige described when he spoke here few months ago about the brain's ability to unlearn things as well as learn/master new things.
Never say never.