My idea of Hell. . . .

Hell is a place where I cannot laugh. I'm not there yet. C.S. Lewis writes in Screwtape Letters that the devil cannot stand to be mocked. I keep repeating to myself a line from Batman Forever, "Why so serious?" My Amers quoted this while laughing at her Emery who's favorite dressup at grandma's is batman. She was decked out in it, but was crying. Laugh with me.

I see Lex less this summer less than when she's working during the school year because she's the lead in Murray's musical Annie this summer and helping costume the Draper City's production of Alice in wonderland that Abby's in and her sister's directing. So between the two rehursals she brings home lunch. On one morning we were watching Cash and I sat down on our couch downstairs where Lex had some clean laundry. When I got upstairs, lex was giggling at me because my shorts had a multicolored sock stuck to the rear-end pocket Velcro.
I went to lunch with friends from high school  and we shared  our favorite memories, one of them was skiing, back when we were young enough to enjoy it and when it was affordable, Gary accidentally set off a domino effect and knocked down an entire row of  skies.
The irony of me putting my wheelchair together while standing and not wanting to ask for help
Aunty Em sing to me in Spanish on my Birthday,  "Feliz cumpliaños aqui." Instead of "a ti" thanks for humoring me Aunty Em.
My father's Day primary fill in the blanks by my kiddos: my dad's favorite activity: Abby's reponse: teading the scriptures
Maxwell's: watching PBS
Coleman's: painting
My best friend from high school helped me plant my garden. I need to weed it so I came up with "Weeding Wednesdays" to recruit my kiddos help. We have weed killer that we use for our lawn and for my CHAMPION parenting tip: i'm recommending you don't ask your kids to handle poisons in any form. I did have my kiddos help me, only to find latter that my big helper Cole sprayed a couple of my tomatoe plants too. No worries, the tomatoe plants and the weeds sprayed by him are still going strong and even taste good.
Lex asked me  to be helpful and not do the laundry because the last two times I put her clothes that aren't suppose to go into the dryer into the dryer. I told her that I couldn't promise her anything, but I would try to not be helpful.
We started swimming lessons at a home in our neighborhood where I could walk over with Max and Coleman. On our first day, I forget to have them use the bathroom(CHAMPION parenting, I know). Maxwell cannot sit still next to me as Coleman gets into the pool for his lesson. Because I'm in my wheelchair I cannot get to a place where I can ask the teacher about him using the restroom, so I tell my Max that he needs to ask her where the restroom is(obstical#1: overcome by listening to when nature calls. That a boy, Max) The backdoor is locked (obstical #2: overcome by asking how to get in again.) Max comes back from going around to the front, way to soon to have gone, he's got a look of defeat on his face, but his pants aren't wet. I look into his eyes and see terror as he tells me that there's a big dog sitting next to the bathroom door inside. Now for those of you who don't know my Maxwell, he is deathly afraid of dogs in fact I might lay in laws house when dogs will bark you will cover his eyes and pretend that they're not there.anotther example of his deathly fear of dogs, on his way to school, two houses down there's a dog in the yard the barks from under the fence, he tells me every time I walk him to school to be very quiet. I think to myself that there's no way that he's going to be able to go in and use the bathroom with a big dog guarding the door(impossible #3 obstical overcome by asking his teacher about the dog and making Dakota his friend)  every time we went to swimming lessons he'd go inside to visit him.
Lex did a CHAMPION job speaking on the parable of the lost coin in sacrament meeting and said, "oh, crap!" Over the pilpit. Aunty Em and I couldn't stop laughing about it at her parent's when we were there for dinner.

Absolutely

Is what my friend texts me when he's excited or agrees with my "strength of my humility that defies description." you see I've got very high standards for friends, they've got to text me things like this to even get a reply. President Shane Myers, It's absolutely CHAMPION  to have you as a friend.  

What's New?

A simple conversation starter. It's a cultural way of thinking, in which we're looking towards the biggest and the best. C.S. Lewis wrote of the "horror of the same old thing"  in The Screwtape Letters, that helps to shed light on the subtlety of this temptation, as well as the "law of diminishing returns with novelty."
I also think of how many of my "new" ideas here are really plagerized from my readings and interactions with others.

So to answer this, summer for me is gardening, thanks to my best friend Marc Mckay's help, a trampoline for the kiddos to wear them out with fun & exercise,  and blogging on my phone, while Lex run's Abby to her rehursal,  helps costume that musical and rehurses for Annie Get Your Gun as the lead. I'm also attempting to teach my kiddos Spanish with a Spanish word of the day, this replaces my tutor Tuesday.
We now do Toilet Tuesdays where I  help the kiddos clean their bathrooms, weeding weednesdays when I recruit their help in the yard.
Therapy Thursdays are still going strong with my President Pa Baugh. I'm learning so much from teaching Come Follow Me curriculum to the 14 to 18 year olds in Sunday School with the Christensens, Audrey and Connor, AKA Bubbles. I also teach once a month in Elder's Quorum.  These lessons are always more for me than anyone else.
Let's face it, "what's the same old, same old" isn't a lead in to a conversation that we ever hear.

Crazy?

Would you go?If everyone else could fly, but you couldn't?(I'm not sure where the "Yoda talk" comes in but it was entertaining for me) I know that I'm not suppose to compare myself to others(especially not Yoda), but I do(not to Yoda on a regular basis, because that would be crazy.) and it hurts because of the things that I cannot do, that I was able to do before the accident. The words to a song by John Mayer run through my head, "Bigger than My Body":

Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry

As I told my Elder's Quorum on Sunday in my self-pity party of my comments, I  know I could get stuck here if I let myself, it would be the easy thing to do,
I could sing the song Superman (It's Not Easy):
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird,
I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
'Bout a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd but don't be naïve
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me
Well, it's alright
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me, inside of me

But, then I really would go crazy.  Instead I  try to remind myself of the things that I can do, and that list is getting longer all the time. Last Thursday, I did things in therapy with George that I never thought that I'd be able to do again. I held a ball against the wall and did circles with it. I'm grateful for Neuroworx and the hope that I continue to find there with their motto of "Pushing for more." So progress gives me hope and keeps me from going crazy. I keep telling myself that I've been through the worst. Knock on wood. At least I'm not in a hospital bed and unconscious with Lex sitting by me and  praying for me to come back to her. I'm here Babe. You prayed me back and I chose to come.  S we all get to deal with the aspiring CHAMPION. I keep reminding myself of Elder Dale G. Runland said this past April General Conference on his talk, Latter-day Saints Keep on trying. He quotes Nelson Mandela, "I'm no Saint, unless a Saint is a sinner who keeps trying."
I also try to take a look at all the tender mercies that have append post accident. I have a new appreciation for all the little things in my life that are really the important things, my relationships with my family & taking time to be with them. I would've never slowed down enough to enjoy them as much as I do now.
On my Coleman's preschool calendar every month there's a thought. for May it's from Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't; you're right. Since my doing thing in therapy that I thought were no longer in my ability to do. I have experienced what Dr. Norman Doige described when he spoke here few months ago about the brain's ability to unlearn things as well as learn/master new things.
Never say never.

Fudge review

I've been meaning to gather some photos from our family blog to help me develop my Exit By Text presentations, but discovered that I didn't have access to it because I no longer have my KUED email. I came across a lot and had to take a break from it. I'm not sure that I'm ready emotionally to deal with all of it. I did come across the astounding strength of my wife Lexy. I love her and am grateful for her talent of love. It's healing me in so many ways. This is a post from her, 12 days after the accident:

Thursday 12th- Letter

Dear Curtis,

Today was a day of sitting and waiting and wondering. I held your hand and watched you trying so hard to tell me things through the one hand that is working. I had to turn away as I cried and hurt when I could not understand. As the sedation lessens and pain medications change, I watched you hurt and I watched you sleep and I watched you turn red with frustration. I watched your eyes sometimes be able to watch me and I felt you squeeze my hand so tight when you were in pain. I asked you not to be angry with me standing by while you worked so hard.

Today I talked about the things you said to me just 12 days ago. And sometimes, when I watched you open your eyes form those sedation-induced sleeps, I almost half expected you to say good morning, grab my hand, and walk right out of that room with me. I picked out new glasses that I hope you will like when you see them-- a late birthday present you meant to give me months ago but I never got around to ordering with you.

Today I want you to know that I love you. I love you, I love you. There are no other words, and yet they sound so trite. But I love you and would follow you off the edge of the world if I could be with you forever. I wish I could take this from you.

Today you signed "I love you" to me and my heart nearly fell on the floor. I wish you never had to suffer ever ever again. I think you've had enough.

Get better. Please get better.

Love always,
Lex

Neuroworx is CHAMPION

I love this place and am grateful for the hope that I continue to find here. I started in 2011 because of a referral from my sister-in-law and bother Kevin. I went three times a week.I started in their amazing aquatics therapy program and then graduated to land therapy and the Locomat.Check it out here. I feel like a celebrity knowing both Matt Carter and Dale Hull, two of the most CHAMPION people I've ever met. Jan still scares me a little. She has a sign at Neuroworx that should be bronzed in their new facility that reads:Beware Jan's on duty with a handicap symbol. Don't let my fear go to your head Jan. I currentlt go once a week, my therapy Thursday's with my Pa Baugh and am on a rotating schedule with the clinicians. My kind of CHAMPIONESS has yo be shared. Something about share the love and only take in doses, not all at once.

What am I Worth?

I hope it’s more than my ability to hunt and peck type here. Is worth defined only by what we do?  I am working on being worthy enough to return to the temple, one of my new year’s goals. I just got back from volunteering in my Maxwell’s first grade classroom. I feel that our teachers are worth so much more than what they get paid, never mind that Lexy is a teacher. After my once a week, 4 hrs in the morning time in my kiddos’ classrooms, I text my sister Lacer and praise her for her work as an elementary teacher and then I take a nap because I am exhausted.

My Grandma Baugh and I love exchanging books, magazine articles, devotional thoughts, letters and emails. Recently we shared our concerns that we have in our individual spiritual progress. When I think of celestial material I think of her.  Here is one of the things that she's sent to me from Music and the Spoken Word :
                                            “Try Your Best”

No one ever does everything perfectly right all the time. Each of us makes mistakes and falls short

of perfection. That’s life, and that’s OK.

Broadway musical star Idina Menzel shared how she came to this realization. Recently, she wrote:

“There are about 3 million notes in a two-and-a-half-hour musical; being a perfectionist, it took me a

long time to realize that if I’m hitting 75 percent of them, I’m succeeding. . . . I am more than the

notes I hit, and that’s how I try to approach my life. You can’t get it all right all the time, but you can

try your best. If you’ve done that, all that’s left is to accept your shortcomings and have the courage

to try to overcome them.”1

It’s not that lofty goals, big plans, and high expectations are bad. We grow by stretching, by

courageously striving to achieve more than we previously thought possible. But growth also

requires patience and perspective. Sometimes we give up on ourselves too early, we start to define

ourselves by our mistakes, or we expect perfection and are therefore forever disappointed. When

this happens, we may need to ease up and simplify our lives.

For an overwhelmed college student, that meant lightening her schedule and her expectations a bit.

For a busy mother, it meant deciding to go a little easier on herself and her children. For all of us, it

can mean that we simply do our best - not someone else’s best.

We are all far more than the notes we hit - or fail to hit. Perhaps we should define ourselves not by

what we are today but by what we can be, by what we aspire to be. Wherever those aspirations are

leading us, let us accept that success can happen over time, little by little. With this perspective, our

mistakes and shortcomings can teach us instead of condemn us. In reality, this is what it means to

do our best.
Thank you my Grandma Baugh you are the BEST.

BE A CHAMPION neighbor, like mine, Kermit Mckay

He is my best friend's father. He was always in scouting with us growing up. Janet, his wife taught us piano. in fact my first thought when we moved next door was, now my kiddos will have the same piano teacher as I did. Unfortunately she does not teach anymore.
He was excited for us to be neighbors and his house has the same floor plan as us. He takes care of us by cutting and watering our lawn, putting out our garbage cans. Set up our springling system
A few months ago, I ran into him at church and he mentioned to me that he had experienced a panic attack, so he decided to fix our mailbox for us. I want to be like him, when I get scared, I want to be the kind of person who thinks of others and looks for an opportunity to serve them. He mentioned that his health hasn't always been good, but that he has been able to deal with everything, but was scared of these new mental symptoms of aging. I told him that if he ever needed someone to chat with, that he's welcome to stop by anytime. He smiled, thanked me and told me that he didn't know how I do it.
Just this week I ran into Janet fertilizing her front lawn, she was laughing and said, look what Kerm has me doing, Curtis! I smiled and took a better look at Kerm, who had his right arm in a sling. He told me that he fell in January. The next day he ran an errand for me and was over taking a look at my doorbell to fix it. He got emotional when he told me that the worst part of being injured was that he couldn't help me. He then told me how grateful he is for the health that he does have. Again, he looked at me and mentioned how he admired me.

Media fast

That's my excuse for not writing on here for a while. I was asked by my companion from Chile why I didn't have a Facebook account. I laughed and told him that I have a life with three kiddos. I get sucked in all to easily, but I have a TBI excuse for that one too.
So, if you are feeling media strained, take a break from the digitization. Life does go on without it. I am reading a book titled Improvised that was written by a friend in High school. She is a dance and takes a dancer view at the self-help industry. It is a refreshing take. Robin Koni you continue to amaze me. Thank you for your insight.
I was excited for this past General Conference, so much so that I woke up on Saturday at a quarter to 5. It was just like Christmas. I was grateful for the messages that were shared and the opportunity I have to study them more, I downloaded them onto my phone the Thursday after. Who would've dreamed that that would be possible?
Maxwell asked me for a gaming system this morning. I told him when he had enough money to buy one, he's welcome to get one. Not to be dismayed by me, he asked me what I had growing up? When I came up with things like Sega and Gameboy, he asked, what about a Wii? I feel old.
I watch BYUTV, because it is safe and I am old. I saw a BYU Devotional by Ryan Holmes about media. Check it out.

My President Pa Baugh

"You don't think that will go to his head?!" was what my younger brother, Kevin said when my Pa was made a member of our Stake Presidency. I love my Pa and we had a good laugh at his expence.  He gave me a tearful hug at the end of the meeting. I asked him if I needed to repent for giving such a hard time or if I need to give him a worse time now? He smiled at me and replied with tears still in his eyes, but smiling, that I better give him a worse time. You see, my Pa did not and doesn't aspire to be a leader, but he does love people and loves to teach them. I love his example.