-from Frozen and the LEGO movie, yes I'm branching out from PBS Kids territory. I wake up singing Svien and Christoph's duet and love it when I get my kids to join in and even correct me. I still need a bunch of help with Olof's song too.I keep blaming the fact that Abby's life is a musical on Lex, maybe I should rethink that.
Lex has to remind me on a daily basis to calm down about something, to just, "Let it go."
On a LEGO movie note, I woke up the day after we had moved into our home and couldn't find where I had packed my jeans and did not want to wear PJs all day and so I found myself saying, "Honey, where are my Pants?" I got a chuckle out of Max and Coleman. It was worth it.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Face it
I started a new book, Tuesdays with Morrie, and besides being surprised that I haven't heard of this book before now am equally surprised at how much I am enjoying it and all the life lessons that it parallels in my own life. I am not dying and grateful for that fact. I did choose to come back to this life, a fact that I remind myself continually as I face life's daily challenges. Morrie talks about the need to fully immerse yourself in your feelings so that you can own them and then detach yourself if that is what you choose to do. Confusing? Let's review, You feel something, like fear. You do not want to be afraid, so your instinct is to fight it or avoid it, but Morrie's approach is to feel it completely so that you first know what it is, being self-aware in Candeo/psych terms. and then you are able to 'replace it' - another Candeo term, or as Morrie calls it detach yourself and choose something else.
I face the fact that there are consequences to my TBI;
I face the fact that there are consequences to my TBI;
- My reality is not real, confusing again- I get that a lot- I cannot see everything and have a prism sticker on my glasses to help me not run into walls, something I struggle with although they have already been patched once by Lex and her parents.I want to be able to drive again, so to make lex's life easier, but feel mad that I am not there yet, because of this vision cut and not compensating enough, as well as still getting sick to my stomach to even think of the possibility
- I am off balance, my center of gravity is over my right side as my brain does not recognize my left side. This makes life safer to be in a wheelchair. I long to be free of this restraint, but am also afraid of the comfort that the safety of not falling offers to me. Morrie would call this a "tension of opposites.".Life is full of them.
- I want to fulfill the role of provider and am mad that I am not in that role right now in my life.I get anxious and am afraid of losing my sense of masculinity, never mind that Lex owns and uses all our power tools at home and at work. Not saying that she isn't feminine.She is just a problem solver and power tools help you solve more problems.
Friday, July 4, 2014
I NEED to change.
I don't want to, but that's part of life."This is for you Curtis, he is speaking directly to you."" I was texted by my Bishop during the Priesthood session of LDS General Conference this past April during Elder Halstrom's talk titled "What Manner of Men." When he stated,"Several decades ago I was serving as a bishop. Over an extended period I met with a man in our ward who was many years my senior. This brother had a troubled relationship with his wife and was estranged from their children. He struggled to keep employment, had no close friends, and found interaction with ward members so difficult he finally was unwilling to serve in the Church. During one intense discussion about the challenges in his life, he leaned toward me—as his conclusion to our numerous talks—and said, “Bishop, I have a bad temper, and that’s just the way I am!”
That statement stunned me that night and has haunted me ever since. Once this man decided—once any of us conclude—“That’s just the way I am,” we give up our ability to change. We might as well raise the white flag, put down our weapons, concede the battle, and just surrender—any prospect of winning is lost. While some of us may think that does not describe us, perhaps every one of us demonstrates by at least one or two bad habits, “That’s just the way I am.”
Well, we meet in this priesthood meeting because who we are is not who we can become. We meet here tonight in the name of Jesus Christ. We meet with the confidence that His Atonement gives every one of us—no matter our weaknesses, our frailties, our addictions—the ability to change. We meet with the hope that our future, no matter our history, can be better.
When we participate in this meeting with the “real intent” to change (Moroni 10:4), the Spirit has full access to our hearts and minds. As the Lord revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith, “And it shall come to pass, that inasmuch as they … exercise faith in me”—remember, faith is a principle of power and of action—“I will pour out my Spirit upon them in the day that they assemble themselves together” (D&C 44:2). That means tonight!" I am grateful for a Bishop that loves me as a friend and continues to aide me to reach my potential.I will miss him.
That statement stunned me that night and has haunted me ever since. Once this man decided—once any of us conclude—“That’s just the way I am,” we give up our ability to change. We might as well raise the white flag, put down our weapons, concede the battle, and just surrender—any prospect of winning is lost. While some of us may think that does not describe us, perhaps every one of us demonstrates by at least one or two bad habits, “That’s just the way I am.”
Well, we meet in this priesthood meeting because who we are is not who we can become. We meet here tonight in the name of Jesus Christ. We meet with the confidence that His Atonement gives every one of us—no matter our weaknesses, our frailties, our addictions—the ability to change. We meet with the hope that our future, no matter our history, can be better.
When we participate in this meeting with the “real intent” to change (Moroni 10:4), the Spirit has full access to our hearts and minds. As the Lord revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith, “And it shall come to pass, that inasmuch as they … exercise faith in me”—remember, faith is a principle of power and of action—“I will pour out my Spirit upon them in the day that they assemble themselves together” (D&C 44:2). That means tonight!" I am grateful for a Bishop that loves me as a friend and continues to aide me to reach my potential.I will miss him.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
"Poor young rich boy . . . "
-'Ragtime' I asked my twin brother, if I was alone in thinking that I was just a spoiled rich kid, he confirmed that he had felt that way, "Only all the time." I wonder what the use is of demeaning myself all the time? Life is hard enough without me trying to beat myself up, a funny mental picture, of me laying on the ground trying to do just that, provides some much needed comic relief. especially with this self-pity post that I've been sitting on and revising for over 6 months now.
This is an intimacy post or as I have learned first from Dr. Jeff Robinson and the from Candeo is more accurately written as "in to me see."If I want to be intimate with others, they need to know who I am.
I am the prodigal son, finally and continually "Coming to myself" and making my way back. I know that true repentance is not found in only the steps, but in the turning towards our Heavenly Father. Having a change of heart, takes "changing it one fiber at a time," another life lesson from my Pa.I also heard a friend in my ward Ryan VanOrden say that, "repentance is really just homesickness for our Heavenly Home." I like that and think that I often give repentance a bad rep, when in reality it is the only way that we are able to progress.
"Where much is given, much is required.(D&C 82:3)" I best get my act together and get giving.
The pink elephant in the room is that I was excommunicated and now am on the road back. Rebaptized a few years ago and working on full restoration of blessings. Not that anyone needed to know, but my life continues to teach me that it is not about what you have, but what you give. In the words of Jack Rushton in his book, It's great to be Alive, "Life is for giving."
I was able to sit and chat with my grandma Baugh the other day, she made it seem like I was doing her a favor by listening to her stories, but it was her doing me the favor in taking the time to share and teach me. She spoke of what a wonderful wife I have and how she was impressed by Lexy's blog writing around the time of the accident because of how she was able to gratefully accept help from others. She told me a story that was shared in her ward of a boy that was born crippled, both mentally as well as physically that wanted to play baseball, his parents signed him up and he played, never hitting a ball or running to a base. It was the championship game and his team was down one, with a runner on second when he got up to bat. The coach of the other team went out to the pitchers mound to tell his pitcher that this was a done deal, an easy out. The boy pitcher took a long look at the ball, and another. He tossed it underhanded as this boy at bat swung, but did not hit the ball.The pitcher got the ball again and studied it longer this time before he tossed it again, this time the boy hit the ball only a few inches from where he stood. The catcher picked up the baseball and studied it as well before throwing it well out of the first baseman's reach.
Tieing this back to the title, With our visit with Kirin, we touched on parenting our kids and the fine line between giving them the best opportunities that we are able to and not getting them trapped into feelings of entitlement, something about raising parents. It's annoying when people quote themself, eh?
This is an intimacy post or as I have learned first from Dr. Jeff Robinson and the from Candeo is more accurately written as "in to me see."If I want to be intimate with others, they need to know who I am.
I am the prodigal son, finally and continually "Coming to myself" and making my way back. I know that true repentance is not found in only the steps, but in the turning towards our Heavenly Father. Having a change of heart, takes "changing it one fiber at a time," another life lesson from my Pa.I also heard a friend in my ward Ryan VanOrden say that, "repentance is really just homesickness for our Heavenly Home." I like that and think that I often give repentance a bad rep, when in reality it is the only way that we are able to progress.
"Where much is given, much is required.(D&C 82:3)" I best get my act together and get giving.
The pink elephant in the room is that I was excommunicated and now am on the road back. Rebaptized a few years ago and working on full restoration of blessings. Not that anyone needed to know, but my life continues to teach me that it is not about what you have, but what you give. In the words of Jack Rushton in his book, It's great to be Alive, "Life is for giving."
I was able to sit and chat with my grandma Baugh the other day, she made it seem like I was doing her a favor by listening to her stories, but it was her doing me the favor in taking the time to share and teach me. She spoke of what a wonderful wife I have and how she was impressed by Lexy's blog writing around the time of the accident because of how she was able to gratefully accept help from others. She told me a story that was shared in her ward of a boy that was born crippled, both mentally as well as physically that wanted to play baseball, his parents signed him up and he played, never hitting a ball or running to a base. It was the championship game and his team was down one, with a runner on second when he got up to bat. The coach of the other team went out to the pitchers mound to tell his pitcher that this was a done deal, an easy out. The boy pitcher took a long look at the ball, and another. He tossed it underhanded as this boy at bat swung, but did not hit the ball.The pitcher got the ball again and studied it longer this time before he tossed it again, this time the boy hit the ball only a few inches from where he stood. The catcher picked up the baseball and studied it as well before throwing it well out of the first baseman's reach.
Tieing this back to the title, With our visit with Kirin, we touched on parenting our kids and the fine line between giving them the best opportunities that we are able to and not getting them trapped into feelings of entitlement, something about raising parents. It's annoying when people quote themself, eh?
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
2 thing you need to survive
according to a therapy session my sister in law Emily had with her son Austin.
#1.Positive Attitude, she talked about how the therapist said that a ratio of 1 to 1, negative to positive daily comments in a marriage will lead it to end. Our school-aged kids are getting 18 to 1 on average!
#2.Affection
I mentioned this to my Pa during one of our Thursday Therapy sessions and he added that if one were to get enough of these two things, you could not only survive, but thrive. I concur.
#1.Positive Attitude, she talked about how the therapist said that a ratio of 1 to 1, negative to positive daily comments in a marriage will lead it to end. Our school-aged kids are getting 18 to 1 on average!
#2.Affection
I mentioned this to my Pa during one of our Thursday Therapy sessions and he added that if one were to get enough of these two things, you could not only survive, but thrive. I concur.
Return with Honor: Mission Memoirs#9
I am not doing a CHAMPION job of keeping track, but I wanted to tell of my meeting one of my best friends at the end of my mission, Elder Christopherson was in my zone and he and his companion lived with me and Elder Torriani. For some reason this man loved me and could read my anxieties that I had about life. I opened up to him and he did so to me in return. I found out that someone could know you and all your insecurities and still love you and befriend you. Thanks Chris for your love and example of what it means to be a CHAMPION friend.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Oasis time with Kirin
Kirin is a friend of Lexy's and mine from high school. She was in Lexy's girl group of friends who were "cupcake princesses" and she would get me to become a "life-size" Curtis by snapping her fingers and I would go down to my knees next to her.
She was in town and has kids the same age as ours. It was great to let them play while Lex and I caught up with her. She is amazing and we are blessed to have her as our friend. I love to see the world through her eyes as faithful Muslim mom.
Where to start on conversation? Let's start with the idea of oasis. Kirin was only planning to stay for an hour or so, but got lost talking with us since the kids were playing so well together. When she realized that it was dinner time she apologize over and over again, as I tried to explain to her that we were as lost in the oasis of having catch up time with her as she was.Since the kiddos were entertaining themselves, this was a lot easier to do.
We chatted about a myrid of things, including how funny it was that Lexy's high school students didn't know how to address an envelope and the fine line we have as parents to give our kids the best, yet not to do everything for them so as to not set them up for unrealistic expectations about life.To how great it was for her to be living back east with this southern states feeling of hospitality and yet in a place where there are many others of her faith, she laughed when she made light of getting together with other Muslim moms who had picked up a southern drawl.
She was in town and has kids the same age as ours. It was great to let them play while Lex and I caught up with her. She is amazing and we are blessed to have her as our friend. I love to see the world through her eyes as faithful Muslim mom.
Where to start on conversation? Let's start with the idea of oasis. Kirin was only planning to stay for an hour or so, but got lost talking with us since the kids were playing so well together. When she realized that it was dinner time she apologize over and over again, as I tried to explain to her that we were as lost in the oasis of having catch up time with her as she was.Since the kiddos were entertaining themselves, this was a lot easier to do.
We chatted about a myrid of things, including how funny it was that Lexy's high school students didn't know how to address an envelope and the fine line we have as parents to give our kids the best, yet not to do everything for them so as to not set them up for unrealistic expectations about life.To how great it was for her to be living back east with this southern states feeling of hospitality and yet in a place where there are many others of her faith, she laughed when she made light of getting together with other Muslim moms who had picked up a southern drawl.
Monday, June 30, 2014
unabridged Our Search For Truth Talk
Brothers and Sisters,
It is so CHAMPION to be able to stand before you and address you in this way, as brothers and sisters, you: our ward family, have become our family, taking care of us as such with everything that has happened with the automobile accident on August 1st 2010. I love you and wanted to thank you for your love, service and examples to me and my family.
to introduce us,Lex and I met in junior high school and started dating when I turned 16. We decided to go to Ricks college together and then I left to Antofagasta, Chile for my mission. We got married on Oct.16th 2003. Abby, our oldest, whose life is a musical, is turning 8 in July. Maxwell, our everything is awesome LEGOer, is 6, and Coleman, the life of the party, is already outsmarting his stay at home Mr. Mom dad, me,he is three and a half.
I have CHAMPION examples in my life of people who love to learn and live the truth, first my parents, my father, who I lovingly refer to as Pa, the shortened version of his favorite title of Grandpa, who is my resource and source for anything and everything, even now with google. I remember as a kid growing up believing that he knew everything and if he didn’t his hypothesis was said with so much confidence, that he made himself believe what he was saying,
and my mom, who always made family scripture study top priority with six kids.Lex who loves learning so much that she teaches high school. My father in law who is a convert to the church, he started to come to church with a friend when he was a kid and hasn’t stopped coming.My mother in law who has a library that makes me get almost as excited as a kid at Christmas, one of the many benefits of living with them now.
I have always had a love of learning and in part chose nursing to study and as a profession because of the potential to always be in school learning, nerdy, I know. I have attempted to follow the admonition (found in Nephi’s example in 1nephi 19:23 to liken the scriptures to myself and have used this as a format for my talk, picking parts of the chapter that stood out to me and relating them to my life. I invite you to do the same as you are listening to my likening of this chapter to my life.This invitation idea comes from a BYU devotional that annoyingly came on during PBS Kids programming.I wish that I could take credit for it with all of my missionary training I love that is still ingrained in me, but since I cannot, please use this invite at your own risk.
In preparing to speak on the tenth chapter of Teaching of the Presidents of the Church, Joseph Feilding Smith, titled, Our search for Truth, I have reflected on my own search for truth and meaning with the accident, or “bump” as my kids like to call it . It has left me with a 20% permanent peripheral vision cut on my left side and the incredible, CHAMPION and challenging opportunity to relearn to walk and use the left side of my body. This makes me wonder how we all are "disabled" in one degree or another in our search for truth,when compared to our perfectly abled Heavenly Father or how we are not able to see everything that Our Father in Heaven is able to see from end to beginning, let alone beginning to end,and therefore we need to be reliant upon our Loving Heavenly Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ who have and see a perfect plan for each one of us to get back to them.I know of their love and perfect plan. I am a living testament and standing witness that miracles happen by faith, prayer and fasting, with the righteous use of the priesthood power that was restored through Joseph Smith. I know that he was a prophet and that Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet today. I am grateful for the way that I know theses things, which is by personal revelation, through the Holy Ghost, made available to all of us, as we live worthily of His companionship and serve one another, I Know that we will be able to live together as families forever.
I was impressed right from the beginning of this chapter, by the story about Joseph Feilding Smith’s first experience with reading the Book of Mormon,” When Joseph Fielding Smith was eight years old, his father gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon and asked him to read it. “I received this Nephite record with thanksgiving,” he later recalled, “and applied myself to the task which had been assigned to me.” His love for the book motivated him to get his chores done quickly and sometimes even leave baseball games early so he could find quiet places to read. In less than two years after receiving the gift from his father, he read the book twice. “
He read it first when he was only 8 and was “thankful” to get the task to read the book. He read it not only once, but twice, his love for the book motivated him to continue reading and searching out more truth, even leaving one of the funnest things that an 8 year old boy loves to do and that he found a quiet place to read.How we need quiet places in our world today, and not just quiet from all the auditory noise, but also from all the competing distractions that we even carry always with us, no I am not referring to our children who cannot walk yet but our smart phones. When I worked for KUED channel 7, I was a coordinator and lead presenter over an outreach program that did monthly bilingual workshops for parents with children in title 1 schools and headstarts in the valley. Our first presentation was always media literacy, that helped teach the use of media as a tool, to help educate.The thing with media is that it teaches whenever it is on, only we can filter the content.Sister Linda S. Reeves, in this past April general conference said,quote, The greatest filter in the world … is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony unquote.I know that as we search for truth with the use of this filter the Spirit will give us the same thirst for truth that President Joseph Fielding Smith had.
President Smith maintained this thirst for gospel knowledge throughout his life. As he learned the truths of the gospel, he shared them and, when necessary, defended them. Three years after he was ordained an Apostle, he received a priesthood blessing that included the following counsel: “You have been blessed with ability to comprehend, to analyze, and defend the principles of truth above many of your fellows, and the time will come when the accumulative evidence that you have gathered will stand as a wall of defense against those who are seeking and will seek to destroy the evidence of the divinity of the mission of the Prophet Joseph; and in this defense you will never be confounded,
What an amazing promise, but He first needed to learn the truths of the Gospel, then shared and defended them. It reminds me of Lehi’s vision of the tree of life and how when he had tasted of the fruit, he wanted to share it with others and how some who were pressing forward holding fast to the iron rod fell away because of those who mocked them from the great and spacious building, some even fell away after partaking of the fruit and were ashamed.None of us are immune to this mocking from the world, but we have been promised His peace. I have felt this peace in my struggle to go against the grain. In my struggle I came across this talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, titled Meek and Lowly, in it he says,” “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29) carries an accompanying and compensating promise from Jesus—“and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” This is a very special form of rest. It surely includes the rest resulting from the shedding of certain needless burdens: fatiguing insincerity, exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for recognition, praise, and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or another, often do so because we carry such unnecessary and heavy baggage. Being thus overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for ourselves.” I am seeking this rest, from my own stumbling and feeling sorry for myself
With being meek and lowly in mind,I love the recognition that President Joseph Fielding Smith received, President Heber J. Grant once called him the “best posted man on the scriptures” among all the General Authorities.4 Not that we should seek to know more than others in order to be told by them that we do, but I love that a prophet would be esteemed by a predecessor so highly for his acting on his thirst for truth. not to boast, but to relate this to my life,Lex wrote to me,last valentines that one of the things that she loved about me was my search for truth.I am grateful that she chooses to emphasize that and not all the mistakes that I've made in my search, or how long it takes me, to get anything right.
Going back to the idea of using a filter to help us in this era of information and enlightenment and sometimes even overload. Since the accident, I have an even greater appreciation for our brains ability to filter, as I do not have this ability now, I cannot multitask or even follow a conversation when there are multiple ones going on in the same room. the chapter continues,
it is more important, a thousand times over, to have a knowledge of God and his laws, so that we can do the things which bring salvation, than it is to have all the worldly knowledge that can be obtained. How blessed we are to live in such a time when we have such a wealth of opportunities, in the words of Elder Ridd from the last priesthood session of general conference, he said quote,” young men, you have probably heard before that you are a “chosen generation,” meaning that God chose and prepared you to come to earth at this time for a great purpose. I know this to be true. But this evening I would like to address you as the “choice generation” because never before in history have individuals been blessed with so many choices.” unquote
The manual continues, ancient prophets, who saw our times, have spoken, not particularly for the benefit of the people of their day, but for the benefit of the people living in the days of which these prophecies speak. Not all truth is of the same value or importance. The most important knowledge in the world is gospel knowledge. It is a knowledge of God and his laws, of those things that men must do to work out their salvation with fear and trembling before the Lord
We sometimes hear the complaint, “I haven’t time.” But we all have time to read and study which is our solemn duty. Can we not arrange to find at least fifteen minutes in each day to devote to systematic reading and reflection? This would be but a trifling amount of time, I am reminded of a sacrament talk that my twin brother Matthew heard in his ward from a neighbor who admitted, “If I have time to watch ‘Cake Wars, I have time to study the scriptures, we all have time and too many excuses.”
We may all know the truth; we are not helpless. The Lord has made it possible for every man to know by the observance of [His] laws, and through the guidance of His Holy Spirit, who is sent purposely to teach us when we comply with the law, so that we may know that truth which makes us free Lex gives me tough love by first reassuring me that she is there, to help steady me if I begin to fall, and then she allows me to do everything that I am able to do by myself. faith and works in action.
Continuing in the chapter on our search for truth, now, we will not get all that in this life.Speaking of the perfect light and knowledge that Our Heavenly Father has obtained. It is impossible for a man to reach that goal in the few years of mortal existence. But what we learn here, that which is eternal, that which is inspired by the Spirit of truth, will continue with us beyond the grave and then we shall go on, if still continuing in God, to receive light and truth until eventually we shall come to that perfect day. This echos one of my favorite talks that was given by Elder Oaks and is titled ‘The Challenge to Become’. I am an all or nothing thinker, a common ailment of a recovering perfectionist. One of my Pa’s favorite sayings what we call a ,“dadism,” in my family is, “49 to 50,one step at a time Curtis, you need to worry about going just on to the next step and not going from 0 to 100.” His own version of how to eat an elephant, one bite at a time. We will get there as we are facing the right direction
Everyone should learn something new every day. You all have inquiring minds and are seeking truth in many fields. I sincerely hope your greatest search is in the realm of spiritual things, because it is there that we are able to gain salvation and make the progress that leads to eternal life in our Father’s kingdom. In my mother in laws library, I've been reading one of John Bytheway’s books, Isaiah for Airheads, in it he reminds us that in our search for truth,quote, “Our Heavenly Father’s required reading list is shorter than OPRAH’s!” unquote, I was blessed with CHAMPION seminary teachers, one of them asked us why more of his students, because of their gospel knowledge, why they didn't answer that they were champion to the question how they were doing.I was challenged and read the old testament first, not that I understood any of it as a freshman, and studied all the standard works with their help. I know for myself that they are true.I like to think of the scriptures as letters from our heavenly home, back in the day when I served my mission, we wrote letters because we didn't have email yet. Those letters from my home kept me going and were and are treasured by me.Treasuring up his word is far more than merely reading it. To treasure it one must not only read and study, but seek in humility and obedience to do the commandments given, and gain the inspiration which the Holy Spirit will impart. That we all will do so is my hope.
It is so CHAMPION to be able to stand before you and address you in this way, as brothers and sisters, you: our ward family, have become our family, taking care of us as such with everything that has happened with the automobile accident on August 1st 2010. I love you and wanted to thank you for your love, service and examples to me and my family.
to introduce us,Lex and I met in junior high school and started dating when I turned 16. We decided to go to Ricks college together and then I left to Antofagasta, Chile for my mission. We got married on Oct.16th 2003. Abby, our oldest, whose life is a musical, is turning 8 in July. Maxwell, our everything is awesome LEGOer, is 6, and Coleman, the life of the party, is already outsmarting his stay at home Mr. Mom dad, me,he is three and a half.
I have CHAMPION examples in my life of people who love to learn and live the truth, first my parents, my father, who I lovingly refer to as Pa, the shortened version of his favorite title of Grandpa, who is my resource and source for anything and everything, even now with google. I remember as a kid growing up believing that he knew everything and if he didn’t his hypothesis was said with so much confidence, that he made himself believe what he was saying,
and my mom, who always made family scripture study top priority with six kids.Lex who loves learning so much that she teaches high school. My father in law who is a convert to the church, he started to come to church with a friend when he was a kid and hasn’t stopped coming.My mother in law who has a library that makes me get almost as excited as a kid at Christmas, one of the many benefits of living with them now.
I have always had a love of learning and in part chose nursing to study and as a profession because of the potential to always be in school learning, nerdy, I know. I have attempted to follow the admonition (found in Nephi’s example in 1nephi 19:23 to liken the scriptures to myself and have used this as a format for my talk, picking parts of the chapter that stood out to me and relating them to my life. I invite you to do the same as you are listening to my likening of this chapter to my life.This invitation idea comes from a BYU devotional that annoyingly came on during PBS Kids programming.I wish that I could take credit for it with all of my missionary training I love that is still ingrained in me, but since I cannot, please use this invite at your own risk.
In preparing to speak on the tenth chapter of Teaching of the Presidents of the Church, Joseph Feilding Smith, titled, Our search for Truth, I have reflected on my own search for truth and meaning with the accident, or “bump” as my kids like to call it . It has left me with a 20% permanent peripheral vision cut on my left side and the incredible, CHAMPION and challenging opportunity to relearn to walk and use the left side of my body. This makes me wonder how we all are "disabled" in one degree or another in our search for truth,when compared to our perfectly abled Heavenly Father or how we are not able to see everything that Our Father in Heaven is able to see from end to beginning, let alone beginning to end,and therefore we need to be reliant upon our Loving Heavenly Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ who have and see a perfect plan for each one of us to get back to them.I know of their love and perfect plan. I am a living testament and standing witness that miracles happen by faith, prayer and fasting, with the righteous use of the priesthood power that was restored through Joseph Smith. I know that he was a prophet and that Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet today. I am grateful for the way that I know theses things, which is by personal revelation, through the Holy Ghost, made available to all of us, as we live worthily of His companionship and serve one another, I Know that we will be able to live together as families forever.
I was impressed right from the beginning of this chapter, by the story about Joseph Feilding Smith’s first experience with reading the Book of Mormon,” When Joseph Fielding Smith was eight years old, his father gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon and asked him to read it. “I received this Nephite record with thanksgiving,” he later recalled, “and applied myself to the task which had been assigned to me.” His love for the book motivated him to get his chores done quickly and sometimes even leave baseball games early so he could find quiet places to read. In less than two years after receiving the gift from his father, he read the book twice. “
He read it first when he was only 8 and was “thankful” to get the task to read the book. He read it not only once, but twice, his love for the book motivated him to continue reading and searching out more truth, even leaving one of the funnest things that an 8 year old boy loves to do and that he found a quiet place to read.How we need quiet places in our world today, and not just quiet from all the auditory noise, but also from all the competing distractions that we even carry always with us, no I am not referring to our children who cannot walk yet but our smart phones. When I worked for KUED channel 7, I was a coordinator and lead presenter over an outreach program that did monthly bilingual workshops for parents with children in title 1 schools and headstarts in the valley. Our first presentation was always media literacy, that helped teach the use of media as a tool, to help educate.The thing with media is that it teaches whenever it is on, only we can filter the content.Sister Linda S. Reeves, in this past April general conference said,quote, The greatest filter in the world … is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony unquote.I know that as we search for truth with the use of this filter the Spirit will give us the same thirst for truth that President Joseph Fielding Smith had.
President Smith maintained this thirst for gospel knowledge throughout his life. As he learned the truths of the gospel, he shared them and, when necessary, defended them. Three years after he was ordained an Apostle, he received a priesthood blessing that included the following counsel: “You have been blessed with ability to comprehend, to analyze, and defend the principles of truth above many of your fellows, and the time will come when the accumulative evidence that you have gathered will stand as a wall of defense against those who are seeking and will seek to destroy the evidence of the divinity of the mission of the Prophet Joseph; and in this defense you will never be confounded,
What an amazing promise, but He first needed to learn the truths of the Gospel, then shared and defended them. It reminds me of Lehi’s vision of the tree of life and how when he had tasted of the fruit, he wanted to share it with others and how some who were pressing forward holding fast to the iron rod fell away because of those who mocked them from the great and spacious building, some even fell away after partaking of the fruit and were ashamed.None of us are immune to this mocking from the world, but we have been promised His peace. I have felt this peace in my struggle to go against the grain. In my struggle I came across this talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, titled Meek and Lowly, in it he says,” “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29) carries an accompanying and compensating promise from Jesus—“and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” This is a very special form of rest. It surely includes the rest resulting from the shedding of certain needless burdens: fatiguing insincerity, exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for recognition, praise, and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or another, often do so because we carry such unnecessary and heavy baggage. Being thus overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for ourselves.” I am seeking this rest, from my own stumbling and feeling sorry for myself
With being meek and lowly in mind,I love the recognition that President Joseph Fielding Smith received, President Heber J. Grant once called him the “best posted man on the scriptures” among all the General Authorities.4 Not that we should seek to know more than others in order to be told by them that we do, but I love that a prophet would be esteemed by a predecessor so highly for his acting on his thirst for truth. not to boast, but to relate this to my life,Lex wrote to me,last valentines that one of the things that she loved about me was my search for truth.I am grateful that she chooses to emphasize that and not all the mistakes that I've made in my search, or how long it takes me, to get anything right.
Going back to the idea of using a filter to help us in this era of information and enlightenment and sometimes even overload. Since the accident, I have an even greater appreciation for our brains ability to filter, as I do not have this ability now, I cannot multitask or even follow a conversation when there are multiple ones going on in the same room. the chapter continues,
it is more important, a thousand times over, to have a knowledge of God and his laws, so that we can do the things which bring salvation, than it is to have all the worldly knowledge that can be obtained. How blessed we are to live in such a time when we have such a wealth of opportunities, in the words of Elder Ridd from the last priesthood session of general conference, he said quote,” young men, you have probably heard before that you are a “chosen generation,” meaning that God chose and prepared you to come to earth at this time for a great purpose. I know this to be true. But this evening I would like to address you as the “choice generation” because never before in history have individuals been blessed with so many choices.” unquote
The manual continues, ancient prophets, who saw our times, have spoken, not particularly for the benefit of the people of their day, but for the benefit of the people living in the days of which these prophecies speak. Not all truth is of the same value or importance. The most important knowledge in the world is gospel knowledge. It is a knowledge of God and his laws, of those things that men must do to work out their salvation with fear and trembling before the Lord
We sometimes hear the complaint, “I haven’t time.” But we all have time to read and study which is our solemn duty. Can we not arrange to find at least fifteen minutes in each day to devote to systematic reading and reflection? This would be but a trifling amount of time, I am reminded of a sacrament talk that my twin brother Matthew heard in his ward from a neighbor who admitted, “If I have time to watch ‘Cake Wars, I have time to study the scriptures, we all have time and too many excuses.”
We may all know the truth; we are not helpless. The Lord has made it possible for every man to know by the observance of [His] laws, and through the guidance of His Holy Spirit, who is sent purposely to teach us when we comply with the law, so that we may know that truth which makes us free Lex gives me tough love by first reassuring me that she is there, to help steady me if I begin to fall, and then she allows me to do everything that I am able to do by myself. faith and works in action.
Continuing in the chapter on our search for truth, now, we will not get all that in this life.Speaking of the perfect light and knowledge that Our Heavenly Father has obtained. It is impossible for a man to reach that goal in the few years of mortal existence. But what we learn here, that which is eternal, that which is inspired by the Spirit of truth, will continue with us beyond the grave and then we shall go on, if still continuing in God, to receive light and truth until eventually we shall come to that perfect day. This echos one of my favorite talks that was given by Elder Oaks and is titled ‘The Challenge to Become’. I am an all or nothing thinker, a common ailment of a recovering perfectionist. One of my Pa’s favorite sayings what we call a ,“dadism,” in my family is, “49 to 50,one step at a time Curtis, you need to worry about going just on to the next step and not going from 0 to 100.” His own version of how to eat an elephant, one bite at a time. We will get there as we are facing the right direction
Everyone should learn something new every day. You all have inquiring minds and are seeking truth in many fields. I sincerely hope your greatest search is in the realm of spiritual things, because it is there that we are able to gain salvation and make the progress that leads to eternal life in our Father’s kingdom. In my mother in laws library, I've been reading one of John Bytheway’s books, Isaiah for Airheads, in it he reminds us that in our search for truth,quote, “Our Heavenly Father’s required reading list is shorter than OPRAH’s!” unquote, I was blessed with CHAMPION seminary teachers, one of them asked us why more of his students, because of their gospel knowledge, why they didn't answer that they were champion to the question how they were doing.I was challenged and read the old testament first, not that I understood any of it as a freshman, and studied all the standard works with their help. I know for myself that they are true.I like to think of the scriptures as letters from our heavenly home, back in the day when I served my mission, we wrote letters because we didn't have email yet. Those letters from my home kept me going and were and are treasured by me.Treasuring up his word is far more than merely reading it. To treasure it one must not only read and study, but seek in humility and obedience to do the commandments given, and gain the inspiration which the Holy Spirit will impart. That we all will do so is my hope.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Spanish lessons
I find it fascinating, the way we are able to relate to each other, again the reason I have a BS degree in Psychology. I attribute my love of words to my wife Alexie, who has a secondary teaching BS degree in English and theater.
I have already mentioned that one of the times that I woke up, after the accident and in the hospital, I told everyone, "me duele" to which Lex panicked for a moment reminding me that I couldn't reset in Spanish-mode like Buzz Light year does in Toy Story III, because she doesn't speak Spanish.There is no worry there, I am astounded that even in my mind's traumatized state. , I was able to draw upon a language I have never felt a master of, but that I knew/know is able to express somethings with more depth than English does.
"No tengo la culpa" and "se fue" are funny examples of the language not giving ownership to the person speaking. they translate to, It is not my fault, but literally I do not have the guilt and it went for something that is dropped. I love that when someone sneezes, you say, "salud" which means health. the -ito/a ending goes on anything you want to make small or loved son, "hijo" becomes "hijito," daughter, "hija becomes, "hijita." You're welcome is said, "de nada" which translates directly to, "of nothing."
I have excitment, "tengo animo" for the potential to have my kids in the Spanish immersion program at the elementaryschool that I went to. "Buena onda," "mortal", two ways of saying awesome. for those of you who want to tap into the Spanish language learning opportunity, here's the PBS plug for 'Oh Noah' which comes on at the end of 'Cyberchase' and DTVchannel 7.3 which is PBS in Spanish called Veme.
I have already mentioned that one of the times that I woke up, after the accident and in the hospital, I told everyone, "me duele" to which Lex panicked for a moment reminding me that I couldn't reset in Spanish-mode like Buzz Light year does in Toy Story III, because she doesn't speak Spanish.There is no worry there, I am astounded that even in my mind's traumatized state. , I was able to draw upon a language I have never felt a master of, but that I knew/know is able to express somethings with more depth than English does.
"No tengo la culpa" and "se fue" are funny examples of the language not giving ownership to the person speaking. they translate to, It is not my fault, but literally I do not have the guilt and it went for something that is dropped. I love that when someone sneezes, you say, "salud" which means health. the -ito/a ending goes on anything you want to make small or loved son, "hijo" becomes "hijito," daughter, "hija becomes, "hijita." You're welcome is said, "de nada" which translates directly to, "of nothing."
I have excitment, "tengo animo" for the potential to have my kids in the Spanish immersion program at the elementaryschool that I went to. "Buena onda," "mortal", two ways of saying awesome. for those of you who want to tap into the Spanish language learning opportunity, here's the PBS plug for 'Oh Noah' which comes on at the end of 'Cyberchase' and DTVchannel 7.3 which is PBS in Spanish called Veme.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
"Shake Well. . .
separation is natural."-Naked juice bottle. I couldn't help but think of Mosiah 3:19 and how " the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man." I know, one of the numerous moments in a my day, that I look for something that is at first mundane, but is able to teach me something.
As for the shake well part, I have started to review the last General Conference addresses and think that one of the common threads that I am finding that is being taught to me is that even as I try my best to do what I should that does not grant me immunity from life's challenges. "Challenges will come to you, but as you trust in God, they will strengthen your faith.(Elder Neil L. Anderson, Spiritual Wirlwinds, April 2014)"
We were able to go and hear my brother and sister in-law speak in their ward about the importance of obedience, Emily used her life experience, when she was a nanny in New York and was driving in a rainstorm with a good friend following behind her to their branch President's home. Her friend told her when they arrived that, "she was glad that I left my turn blinker on, so that I knew which car to follow, even in the dark storm." She spoke on how she obviously hadn't left her blinker on on purpose, but with the sound of the storm, couldn't hear that it was still on. She compared the left on blinker to the Commandments, as we follow them we will make it safely back to our Heavenly home.In The Teachings of The Presidents of the Church, Harold B. Lee Chapter 9 we read in reference to the words of our modern day Prophet,"it may contradict your political views. It may contradict your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if you listen to these things, as if from the Lord Himself, with patience and faith,the promise is that “the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory.”
I am grateful in a world that seems so shaken up and in the dark at times to know that a light has been left on fo all of us. I know that because He loves us, our Father in Heaven still speaks to His modern day Prophets, so that we can find our way back to Him.
As for the shake well part, I have started to review the last General Conference addresses and think that one of the common threads that I am finding that is being taught to me is that even as I try my best to do what I should that does not grant me immunity from life's challenges. "Challenges will come to you, but as you trust in God, they will strengthen your faith.(Elder Neil L. Anderson, Spiritual Wirlwinds, April 2014)"
We were able to go and hear my brother and sister in-law speak in their ward about the importance of obedience, Emily used her life experience, when she was a nanny in New York and was driving in a rainstorm with a good friend following behind her to their branch President's home. Her friend told her when they arrived that, "she was glad that I left my turn blinker on, so that I knew which car to follow, even in the dark storm." She spoke on how she obviously hadn't left her blinker on on purpose, but with the sound of the storm, couldn't hear that it was still on. She compared the left on blinker to the Commandments, as we follow them we will make it safely back to our Heavenly home.In The Teachings of The Presidents of the Church, Harold B. Lee Chapter 9 we read in reference to the words of our modern day Prophet,"it may contradict your political views. It may contradict your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if you listen to these things, as if from the Lord Himself, with patience and faith,the promise is that “the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; yea, and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory.”
I am grateful in a world that seems so shaken up and in the dark at times to know that a light has been left on fo all of us. I know that because He loves us, our Father in Heaven still speaks to His modern day Prophets, so that we can find our way back to Him.
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